TED演讲:为什么我们需要与陌生人交流(7)

 Another is what I call noticing. This is usually giving a compliment. 另外个技巧我称它为"关注"。一般在这种情况下要赞美别人。

I'm a big fan of noticing people's shoes. 我十分注意别人的鞋子，

I'm actually not wearing fabulous¹ shoes right now, but shoes are fabulous in general. 虽然我现在并没有穿特别抢眼的鞋子，但是总的来说，鞋子都是很棒的。

And they're pretty neutral as far as giving compliments goes. 而且一般在赞美的时候都是比较中立的着眼点。

People always want to tell you things about their awesome² shoes. 人们总是愿意就他们的靓鞋多聊几句。

You may have already experienced the dogs and babies principle. 你可能已经体会过了爱犬原则或者是婴儿原则。

So, it can be awkward to talk to someone on the street; you don't know how they're going to respond. 和街道上的陌生人聊天可能会很尴尬——你不知道他们会怎么回应你。

But you can always talk to their dog or their baby. 但你总是可以对他们的宠物狗或者是小孩讲话。

The dog or the baby is a social conduit to the person, 宠物狗或者是小孩就是那个人的社交引线。

and you can tell by how they respond whether they're open to talking more. 通过他们的反应，你可以判断出他们是不是愿意多聊几句。

The last one I want to challenge you to is disclosure. 我最后想要挑战各位的一点是关于能否开诚布公。

This is a very vulnerable thing to do, and it can be very rewarding. 这是非常示弱的行为，但同时也会带给你极大的回馈。

So next time you're talking to a stranger and you feel comfortable, 所以下一次，当你自在地与陌生人聊天的时候，

tell them something true about yourself, something really personal. 告诉他们一些真实的事情，说一些很私人的话题。

You might have that experience I talked about of feeling understood. 你可能会感受到我提到的那种被理解的感觉。

Sometimes in conversation, it comes up, people ask me, "What does your dad do?" or, "Where does he live?" 有时在交谈的时候，有人问我：“你爸爸是做什么的？”或者“他住在哪里？”

And sometimes I tell them the whole truth, which is that he died when I was a kid. 有时候我会对他们完完全全讲真话，也就是我爸爸在我小的时候就去世了。

Always in those moments, they share their own experiences of loss. 每当那种时刻，他们也会向我分享他们过世的亲人的故事。

We tend to meet disclosure with disclosure, even with strangers. 一般来说，人们愿意彼此敞开心扉，对陌生人也不例外。

1 fabulous   

adj.极好的；极为巨大的；寓言中的，传说中的

参考例句：

• We had a fabulous time at the party.我们在晚会上玩得很痛快。
• This is a fabulous sum of money.这是一笔巨款。

2 awesome   

adj.令人惊叹的，难得吓人的，很好的

参考例句：

• The church in Ireland has always exercised an awesome power.爱尔兰的教堂一直掌握着令人敬畏的权力。
• That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了.