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11-14 如何克服你的羞怯感

时间:2006-10-19 16:00来源:互联网 提供网友:toad   字体: [ ]

How to Overcome Your Shyness


Shyness is the cause of much unhappiness for a great many of people. All kinds of people describe themselves as shy. Shy people are anxious and self-conscious; that is that they are excessively concerned with their own appearance and actions. Worrisome1 thoughts are constantly swirling1 in their minds. What kind of impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I sound stupid? I’m ugly. I’m wearing unattractive clothes. It’s obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people adversely22. A person’s self-concept is reflected in the way he or she behaves, and the way a person behaves affects other people’s reactions.


Shy people, having low self esteem3, are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. They need reassurance43 that they are doing “the right thing”. Shy people are very sensitive to criticism. They feel it confirms their inferiority4. They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliments because they believe they are unworthy of praise. A shy person may respond to a compliment with a statement like this one: “Your are just saying that to make me feel good. I know it’s not true.” It’s clear that, while self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing5 it is detrimental65, or harmful. Then, can shyness be completely eliminated, or at least reduced?


Yes!Here are some specific helpful steps toward building self-confidence and overcoming shyness.


1. Recognize your personal strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has both. As self-acceptance grows, shyness naturally diminishes.


2. Set reasonable goals. For example, you may be timid6 about being with a group of strangers at a party. Don’t feel that you must converse7 with everyone. Concentrate on talking with one or two people. You’ll feel more comfortable.


3. Guilt8 and shame are destructive feelings. Don’t waste time and energy on them. Suppose, you have hurt someone’s feelings. Feeling ashamed accomplishes nothing. Instead, accept the fact that you have made a mistake, and make up your mind to be more sensitive in the future.


4. There are numerous approaches to all issues. Few options are completely right or wrong. Don’t be afraid to speak up and give your point of view.


5. Don’t make negative comments about yourself. This is a form of self-rejection. Avoid describing yourself as stupid, ugly, a failure. Accent7 the positive.


6. Accept criticism thoughtfully. Do not interpret it as a personal attack. If, for example, a friend complains about your cooking, accept it as a comment on your cooking, not yourself. Be assured that you are still good friends, but perhaps your cooking could improve.


7. Remember that everyone experiences some failures and disappointments. Profit from them as learning experiences. Very often a disappointment becomes a turning point for a wonderful experience to come along. For instance, you may be rejected by the college of your choice. However, at the college you actually attend, you may find a quality of education beyond what you had expected.


8. Do not associate with people who make you feel inadequate9. Try to change their attitude or yours, or remove yourself from that relationship. People who hurt you do not have your best interests at heart.


9. Set aside time to relax, enjoy hobbies, and re-evaluate your goals regularly. Time spent this way helps you learn more about yourself.


10. Practice being in social occasions. Don’t isolate10 yourself from people. Try making one acquaintance at a time; eventually you circulate in large groups with skill and self-assurance.


Each of us is a unique, valuable individual. We are interesting in our personal ways. The better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to live up to our full potential. Let’s not allow shyness to block our chances for a rich and fulfilling life.



1. worrisome [5wQrisEm] a. 令人担心的,使人发愁的

2. adversely [5AdvE:sli] ad. 不利地,有害地

3. reassurance [7ri:E5FuErEns] n. 再保证,再安慰

4. inferiority [in7fiEri5Criti] n. 劣等,下位,自卑情绪,自卑感

5. detrimental [7detri5mentl] a. 有害的,不利的

6. timid [5timid] a. 胆怯的,羞怯的

7. accent [5AksEnt] vt. 着重,强调





  羞怯的人自尊心较弱,容易消极被动,并且易受他人影响。他们需要得到一再确认他们是在做“正确的事情”。羞怯的人对批评非常敏感。他们觉得批评证实他们不如他人。此外,他们也觉得很难因别人的赞美而高兴,因为他们认为自己不值得称赞。一个羞怯的人会以这样的话语来回答他人的赞美之辞:“你这么说只不过是想让我感觉好点罢了,我知道这不是真的。” 很明显,尽管自知之明是一种健康的品质,但过分的自我意识却是有害无益。那么,能彻底消除或至少减轻羞怯感吗?
















1 swirling Ngazzr     
v.旋转,打旋( swirl的现在分词 )
  • Snowflakes were swirling in the air. 天空飘洒着雪花。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • She smiled, swirling the wine in her glass. 她微笑着,旋动着杯子里的葡萄酒。 来自辞典例句
2 adversely 6zEzi6     
  • We commented adversely upon the imbecility of that message of telegraphic style. 我们对着这条电报式的愚蠢的留言发泄了一通不满。
  • Widely fluctuating exchange rates may adversely affect international trade. 浮动幅度很大的汇率可能会对国际贸易产生有害的影响。
3 esteem imhyZ     
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • The veteran worker ranks high in public love and esteem.那位老工人深受大伙的爱戴。
4 reassurance LTJxV     
  • He drew reassurance from the enthusiastic applause.热烈的掌声使他获得了信心。
  • Reassurance is especially critical when it comes to military activities.消除疑虑在军事活动方面尤为关键。
5 overdoing 89ebeb1ac1e9728ef65d83e16bb21cd8     
v.做得过分( overdo的现在分词 );太夸张;把…煮得太久;(工作等)过度
  • He's been overdoing things recently. 近来他做事过分努力。 来自辞典例句
  • You think I've been overdoing it with the work thing? 你认为我对工作的关注太过分了吗? 来自电影对白
6 detrimental 1l2zx     
  • We know that heat treatment is detrimental to milk.我们知道加热对牛奶是不利的。
  • He wouldn't accept that smoking was detrimental to health.他不相信吸烟有害健康。
7 converse 7ZwyI     
  • He can converse in three languages.他可以用3种语言谈话。
  • I wanted to appear friendly and approachable but I think I gave the converse impression.我想显得友好、平易近人些,却发觉给人的印象恰恰相反。
8 guilt 9e6xr     
  • She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
  • Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。
9 inadequate 2kzyk     
  • The supply is inadequate to meet the demand.供不应求。
  • She was inadequate to the demands that were made on her.她还无力满足对她提出的各项要求。
10 isolate G3Exu     
  • Do not isolate yourself from others.不要把自己孤立起来。
  • We should never isolate ourselves from the masses.我们永远不能脱离群众。
TAG标签:   英语沙龙  羞怯  英语沙龙  羞怯
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