英语小达人 422 Good Heart to Lean On(4)

 I now know he participated in some things vicariously through me, his only son.  现在我知道一些事情他是通过我——他唯一的儿子来做的。

When I played ball (poorly), he played too.  当我打球时（尽管我打得很糟糕），他也在打球。

When I joined the Navy he joined too.  当我参加海军时，他也参军。

And when I came home on leave, he saw to it that I visited his office.  当时我休假，他一定会让我去他的办公室，

Introducing me, he was really saying,  向人介绍我时，其实他真正想说的是：

This is my son, but it is also me,  这是我儿子，但也是我自己，

and I could have done this, too, if things had been different.  假如事情不是这样的话，我也会去参军的。

Those words were never said aloud.  那些话他从来没有说出口。

He has been gone many years now, but I think of him often. 父亲离开我们已经很多年了，但是我时常想起他。

I wonder if he sensed my reluctance¹ to be seen with him during our walks.  我不知道他是否意识到我曾经不愿意让人看到和他走在一起的心理。

If he did, I am sorry I never told him how sorry I was, how unworthy I was, how I regretted it.  假如他知道这一切，我现在感到很后悔，因为我从没告诉过他我是多么愧疚、多么不孝、多么悔恨。

I think of him when I complain about trifles, when I am envious² of another's good fortune, when I don't have a good heart. 每当我为一些琐事而抱怨，妒忌别人的好运，缺乏善心的时候，我就会想起我的父亲。

At such times I put my hand on his arm to regain³ my balance,  此时，我会挽着他的胳膊保持身体平衡，

and say, You set the pace, I will try to adjust to you. 并且说，你走你的，我想法儿跟上你。

1 reluctance   

n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿

参考例句：

• The police released Andrew with reluctance.警方勉强把安德鲁放走了。
• He showed the greatest reluctance to make a reply.他表示很不愿意答复。

2 envious   

adj.嫉妒的，羡慕的

参考例句：

• I don't think I'm envious of your success.我想我并不嫉妒你的成功。
• She is envious of Jane's good looks and covetous of her car.她既忌妒简的美貌又垂涎她的汽车。

3 regain   

vt.重新获得，收复，恢复

参考例句：

• He is making a bid to regain his World No.1 ranking.他正为重登世界排名第一位而努力。
• The government is desperate to regain credibility with the public.政府急于重新获取公众的信任。