I’m Doing Nothing Wrong

 　　My father, Dale, hits on P.J. Harvey at her rock show. Actually, it is a P.J. Harvey lookalike. There are dozens like her, wannabe rock stars wearing ankle boots with pin-sized heels. The others, boys with thrift¹ shop tees over crisp oxfords, men like my dad whom everyone assumes is a roadie because he looks like he’s in a heavy metal band, and older women with scattered² hair and dry lips, jostle to prove they’re up to it. I prefer the latter. They have a startled, somewhat embarrassed look, as if they tend to people’s vanity and ailments³ like a bikini-waxer or hospital attendant. Under cover, with the aid of protective gear. I think, these are the women my dad should be interested in, not the ones everyone else wants. I thought my dad was an original, but I am wrong.

　　"This is not New York," Dale tells me in his van. On its side is a sign that reads, "Daddy’s Little Girl Flooring." It’s alarming how many calls he gets out of this. He used to work with another guy, Greg, in Manhattan, but he died so I came to work with him. Now, if we’re refinishing, there’s usually a woman at the door who will say by way of greeting, "You must be Daddy’s Little Girl." I imagine people wondered who the little girl was when it was just my father and Greg.

　　"I know this isn’t New York," I say. "It’s been ages." I am fond of outdated⁴ expressions that make me feel madcap and carefree. He doesn’t mean we left New York a half-hour ago, and are well into the heart of New Jersey⁵ or Connecticut. He means, we left New York for good. We did, four years ago. After a year of doing floors together in New York, we moved the business to Fort Collins, Colorado. What Dale refers to is the traffic outside Denver, where we're headed. We’re idling on I-25. Unlike some people who would’ve said, "What’s the holdup, this isn’t New York," or if they’re really pissed, "What the hell, this isn’t fucking New York," my father states the obvious as if he’s unsure of it’s veracity⁶.

　　My dad loves P.J. Harvey as much as he loves Fleetwood Mac and The Eagles. He admits it is odd, given the fact that most parents find her music to be just a lot of noise, but something about her speaks to him. He heard my boyfriend Larry playing her album To Bring You My Love when he came to pick me up for work, and asked if he could borrow it. Larry tried to convince him to take her first album instead but Dale would have none of it. This was a cardinal⁷ sin. Larry believes in listening to music chronologically⁸, from the first album to the last, always. I have questioned him on this extensively. What if the first album sucks, and your favorite is the most recent? Or you hear a song on the radio, and go to buy the CD, only to find the song your looking for is on the second, or third, or fourth? What then? According to Larry, you’re screwed. You have to start from the beginning, every time. In fact, the whole notion of "favorite" is blasphemous⁹. There’s a larger picture to see. He doesn’t listen to the radio, for this reason. Larry goes nuts when he comes across a Greatest Hits collection. Concerts are out of the question, since they're a Greatest Hits collection with amped up applause and bad feedback. Hence, his absence at tonight’s show.

　　"You need to dump that dumbass," Dale tells me. "He’s probably getting fries with that shake, if you know what I’m talking about." Not even P.J. Harvey can make my father hip¹⁰, I’m sad to say.

　　But we all have our music quirks¹¹. I tolerate album covers that feature the band by a warehouse¹² far, far away because I have to. As for solo artists, I’ve noticed that most women artists I like are often on the ground, playing dead, but done up glamorously¹³, they might as well be on a satin ottoman. The only difference is a smudge of blood and bruise¹⁴ around the lip and eye. My father has nothing but contempt for music videos, especially ones that feature an artist tied to a chair with a bunch of "thugs" around him, who ends up in a psychiatric ward¹⁵, unshaven, in a dirty robe.

　　My father has never liked Larry because he wears shorts all year long, and has one of those jobs that are hard to grasp for people who don’t do what he does. After careful scrutiny¹⁶, followed by an afternoon of light stalking, I’ve only been able to come up with this: he works in a laboratory. Larry does smell antiseptic, with a trace of Sweet n’ Low. The first time we had sex, I thought he had a cold, and was overdosing on throat lozenges.

　　It was a sad smell, and as we were having sex, I vowed¹⁷ to stop seeing him.

　　I changed my mind midway through it when Foreigner’s "Feels Like the First Time," came on the radio. It did too, and not only because we were in my Honda in a parking lot. The truth is that I hadn’t had sex in a year, and this occasion didn’t make up for lost time. You would think the coincidence would have solidified¹⁸ my decision to break up with Larry, but a catchy¹⁹ tune²⁰ that belies²¹ a darker meaning is like a lightening bolt to pay attention. So I didn’t.

　　At the show, my father and I take turns going to the bar. I watch the crowd, which can only be described as a panorama²² of déjà vu. The music scene is small here, and people appear and reappear no matter where they are. Tonight is a real happening. We find a good spot against the wall, to the right of the stage. It’s important to be on the right, since I lost some of my hearing in that ear when I was eleven. My best friend, Gabe, tried to drown me at the pool. I kicked him in the stomach so he smashed my head against the concrete. They evacuated²³ everyone from the pool, and the blood in blue and white reminded me of a rocket pop I had before I went in. Afterward²⁴, everything sounded as if I was underwater.

　　I was never mad at Gabe for what he did. He was trying his hand at bigger things, and would go back to what he knew best, torturing smaller, defenseless creatures. I figured, the worst is over, and invited him to a sleepover. After some pleading, my mom consented. She made popcorn²⁵ and Rice Krispie treats but refused any to him. He didn’t complain. Out of fear, I guess. I was terrified of my mother, who divorced my father a year later.

　　When Larry’s pissed off, he’ll talk in my bad ear, or move his lips as if he’s speaking. But I know there’s no sound coming out. I have gotten so used to not being able to hear, it took me a while to realize that sometimes I can hear like everyone else. Like P.J. Harvey, who is famous for whispering and going so quiet it’s impossible to understand. She treats her music as if it’s a secret she’s reluctant to share.

　　My father hands me a beer before the show, and turns his attention to the plethora²⁶ of young women around him. Doesn’t he know this makes me uncomfortable? Of course all the hetero boys are doing the same, and the girls go by with grim faces and stiff necks. Not seeing but seeing. The youngest ones laugh too loudly, and sprint²⁷ down the aisles²⁸. The boys fall for this act, willing to see mystery where there is none.

　　"Dale, what’s yours?" my dad shouts over the opening act, a punk band from Kansas City. The woman is about my age, with low breasts and tattoos³⁰ up and down her arms. She shakes my father’s hand. "Laura," I hear her scream.

　　"This is my daughter, Penelope." He puts his arm around me, and squeezes. I can be a prop³¹.

　　"Nice to meet you." Her hand is sticky and cool.

　　"That is so sweet," she says and gives me a smile a five year old would find condescending³². I offer to go to the bar. Laura orders a Jack³³ and coke, my father another beer. He makes a big deal of handing me a twenty. When I get back, Dale gives me a half-smile that's really a question. I pat his arm. Yes, I answer. I'll get lost.

　　P.J. Harvey comes out in a white pants suit. She's tiny, but has a voice that defies her size. I'm several rows behind Dale and Laura, and watch them head bang to the music. I want to move as well, but am surrounded by a passive bunch. They feign³⁴ thoughtful attentiveness³⁵ through cocked heads and closed eyes. During a ballad³⁶ I can barely discern, my father lifts his left arm high and sways, a lighter³⁷ poised³⁸ in his hand. The singular flame hovers³⁹ over his companion's head, threatening to catch it on fire.

　　Looking at him, unabashed as the sole lighter possessor in the entire place, I realize he's happy. When we first moved to Fort Collins, we were sick from the altitude. With the mountains so far west, we didn't think we were up so high. Each day presented a new symptom. Bloody⁴⁰ nose, earache⁴¹, vertigo⁴². My ears felt full and hollow, and I couldn't tell what was close or far away. My dad had dreamed of living out west all his life, but began to think he had made a mistake. The west my father sought didn't have suburban⁴³ sprawl⁴⁴. Nevertheless, he has thrived beneath its sunny disposition⁴⁵, where afternoons are warm, even in winter.

　　After the show, I wait for my dad in front of the theatre. The smell of smoke is everywhere. Dale and Laura wander toward me, new-fangled and affectionate. They begin to walk ahead, in the opposite direction of where we’re parked.

　　"The van is this way, Dad." Laura laughs, a little uneasily. She grabs my father’s shoulder. The veins⁴⁶ in her hands are prominent. She's older than I thought. On her arm is a tattoo²⁹ of the Virgin⁴⁷ Mary, done up like a cowgirl and surrounded by stars, with a lasso in her right hand.

　　"You go on without me," my dad says. I hear one word of this. It is "oust⁴⁸."

　　"We’re going the wrong way." I say. My father stops. Under the streetlight, they both look soft, with pink skin and translucent⁴⁹ hair.

　　"You’ll be fine, Lope. I’ll see you tomorrow." We’re an hour away from home, and have a seven a.m. appointment in the morning. He must be thinking the same thing, because he says, "I’ll catch the bus."

　　If I had known earlier, I wouldn’t have had so much to drink. "OK," I say. My father hums P.J. Harvey. I recognize the song, "You Said Something," which always makes me miss New York. I go into a 7-Eleven for a coffee and bottle of water, to sober up. I think of Larry waiting at home, eyeing the clock while listening to Kris Kristofferson. At this late hour, it's most likely Who's to Bless and Who's to Blame.

　　Outside, I drink my coffee in the cold air. I see my father and Laura cross the street. Their hands are stuffed into their jean pockets, and their pace is brisk, purposeful. Even though he's blocks away and my ears are ringing, I can hear him sing:

　　And I'm doing nothing wrong

　　Riding in your car

　　The radio playing

　　We sing up to the eighth floor

　　Driving home with the windows down to keep me awake, the shape of the mountains glow above the city lights. In the four years we've been here, we have yet to visit them. They're as foreign to us as a picture postcard. Beautiful, but not to be trusted.

1 thrift   

adj.节约，节俭；n.节俭，节约

参考例句：

• He has the virtues of thrift and hard work.他具备节俭和勤奋的美德。
• His thrift and industry speak well for his future.他的节俭和勤勉预示着他美好的未来。

2 scattered   

adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的

参考例句：

• Gathering up his scattered papers,he pushed them into his case.他把散乱的文件收拾起来，塞进文件夹里。

3 ailments   

疾病（尤指慢性病），不适( ailment的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• His ailments include a mild heart attack and arthritis. 他患有轻度心脏病和关节炎。
• He hospitalizes patients for minor ailments. 他把只有小病的患者也送进医院。

4 outdated   

adj.旧式的，落伍的，过时的；v.使过时

参考例句：

• That list of addresses is outdated,many have changed.那个通讯录已经没用了，许多地址已经改了。
• Many of us conform to the outdated customs laid down by our forebears.我们许多人都遵循祖先立下的过时习俗。

5 jersey   

n.运动衫

参考例句：

• He wears a cotton jersey when he plays football.他穿运动衫踢足球。
• They were dressed alike in blue jersey and knickers.他们穿着一致，都是蓝色的运动衫和灯笼短裤。

6 veracity   

n.诚实

参考例句：

• I can testify to this man's veracity and good character.我可以作证，此人诚实可靠品德良好。
• There is no reason to doubt the veracity of the evidence.没有理由怀疑证据的真实性。

7 cardinal   

n.(天主教的)红衣主教；adj.首要的，基本的

参考例句：

• This is a matter of cardinal significance.这是非常重要的事。
• The Cardinal coloured with vexation. 红衣主教感到恼火，脸涨得通红。

8 chronologically   

ad. 按年代的

参考例句：

• Manuscripts show cases arranged topically not chronologically. 从原稿看案例是按专题安排的而不是按年代次序安排的。
• Though the exhibition has been arranged chronologically, there are a few exceptions. 虽然展览的时间便已经安排好了，但是也有少数的例外。

9 blasphemous   

adj.亵渎神明的，不敬神的

参考例句：

• The book was declared blasphemous and all copies ordered to be burnt.这本书被断定为亵渎神明之作，命令全数焚毀。
• The people in the room were shocked by his blasphemous language.满屋的人都对他那侮慢的语言感到愤慨。

10 hip   

n.臀部，髋；屋脊

参考例句：

• The thigh bone is connected to the hip bone.股骨连着髋骨。
• The new coats blouse gracefully above the hip line.新外套在臀围线上优美地打着褶皱。

11 quirks   

n.奇事，巧合( quirk的名词复数 )；怪癖

参考例句：

• One of his quirks is that he refuses to travel by train. 他的怪癖之一是不愿乘火车旅行。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• All men have their own quirks and twists. 人人都有他们自己的怪癖和奇想。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

12 warehouse   

n.仓库；vt.存入仓库

参考例句：

• We freighted the goods to the warehouse by truck.我们用卡车把货物运到仓库。
• The manager wants to clear off the old stocks in the warehouse.经理想把仓库里积压的存货处理掉。

13 glamorously   

富有魅力的； 迷人的； 富于刺激的； 独特的

参考例句：

• The south coast is less glamorous but full of clean and attractive hotels. 南海岸魅力稍逊，但却有很多干净漂亮的宾馆。
• It was an opera, very glamorous and very sensual. 这场歌剧美轮美奂，声色俱佳，给感官以极大享受。

14 bruise   

n.青肿，挫伤；伤痕；vt.打青；挫伤

参考例句：

• The bruise was caused by a kick.这伤痕是脚踢的。
• Jack fell down yesterday and got a big bruise on his face.杰克昨天摔了一跤，脸上摔出老大一块淤斑。

15 ward   

n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开

参考例句：

• The hospital has a medical ward and a surgical ward.这家医院有内科病房和外科病房。
• During the evening picnic,I'll carry a torch to ward off the bugs.傍晚野餐时，我要点根火把，抵挡蚊虫。

16 scrutiny   

n.详细检查，仔细观察

参考例句：

• His work looks all right,but it will not bear scrutiny.他的工作似乎很好，但是经不起仔细检查。
• Few wives in their forties can weather such a scrutiny.很少年过四十的妻子经得起这么仔细的观察。

17 vowed   

起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• He vowed quite solemnly that he would carry out his promise. 他非常庄严地发誓要实现他的诺言。
• I vowed to do more of the cooking myself. 我发誓自己要多动手做饭。

18 solidified   

（使）成为固体，（使）变硬，（使）变得坚固( solidify的过去式和过去分词 )； 使团结一致； 充实，巩固； 具体化

参考例句：

• Her attitudes solidified through privilege and habit. 由于特权和习惯使然，她的看法变得越来越难以改变。
• When threatened, he fires spheres of solidified air from his launcher! 当危险来临，他就会发射它的弹药！

19 catchy   

adj.易记住的，诡诈的，易使人上当的

参考例句：

• We need a new slogan.The old one's not catchy enough.我们需要新的口号，旧的不够吸引人。
• The chorus is very catchy to say the least.副歌部分很容易上口。

20 tune   

n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整

参考例句：

• He'd written a tune,and played it to us on the piano.他写了一段曲子，并在钢琴上弹给我们听。
• The boy beat out a tune on a tin can.那男孩在易拉罐上敲出一首曲子。

21 belies   

v.掩饰( belie的第三人称单数 )；证明（或显示）…为虚假；辜负；就…扯谎

参考例句：

• His appearance belies him. 他的外貌给人以假象。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The modesty of their home belies their great wealth. 他们简朴的家使人们看不出他们拥有巨额财富。 来自辞典例句

22 panorama   

n.全景，全景画，全景摄影，全景照片[装置]

参考例句：

• A vast panorama of the valley lay before us.山谷的广阔全景展现在我们面前。
• A flourishing and prosperous panorama spread out before our eyes.一派欣欣向荣的景象展现在我们的眼前。

23 evacuated   

撤退者的

参考例句：

• Police evacuated nearby buildings. 警方已将附近大楼的居民疏散。
• The fireman evacuated the guests from the burning hotel. 消防队员把客人们从燃烧着的旅馆中撤出来。

24 afterward   

adv.后来；以后

参考例句：

• Let's go to the theatre first and eat afterward. 让我们先去看戏，然后吃饭。
• Afterward,the boy became a very famous artist.后来，这男孩成为一个很有名的艺术家。

25 popcorn   

n.爆米花

参考例句：

• I like to eat popcorn when I am watching TV play at home.当我在家观看电视剧时，喜欢吃爆米花。
• He still stood behind his cash register stuffing his mouth with popcorn.他仍站在收银机后，嘴里塞满了爆米花。

26 plethora   

n.过量，过剩

参考例句：

• Java comes with a plethora of ready-made types.Java配套提供了数量众多的现成类型。
• A plethora of new operators will be allowed to enter the market.大批新的运营商将获准进入该市场。

27 sprint   

n.短距离赛跑；vi. 奋力而跑，冲刺；vt.全速跑过

参考例句：

• He put on a sprint to catch the bus.他全速奔跑以赶上公共汽车。
• The runner seemed to be rallied for a final sprint.这名赛跑者似乎在振作精神作最后的冲刺。

28 aisles   

n. (席位间的)通道, 侧廊

参考例句：

• Aisles were added to the original Saxon building in the Norman period. 在诺曼时期，原来的萨克森风格的建筑物都增添了走廊。
• They walked about the Abbey aisles, and presently sat down. 他们走到大教堂的走廊附近，并且很快就坐了下来。

29 tattoo   

n.纹身，(皮肤上的)刺花纹；vt.刺花纹于

参考例句：

• I've decided to get my tattoo removed.我已经决定去掉我身上的纹身。
• He had a tattoo on the back of his hand.他手背上刺有花纹。

30 tattoos   

n.文身( tattoo的名词复数 )；归营鼓；军队夜间表演操；连续有节奏的敲击声v.刺青，文身( tattoo的第三人称单数 )；连续有节奏地敲击；作连续有节奏的敲击

参考例句：

• His arms were covered in tattoos. 他的胳膊上刺满了花纹。
• His arms were covered in tattoos. 他的双臂刺满了纹身。 来自《简明英汉词典》

31 prop   

vt.支撑；n.支柱，支撑物；支持者，靠山

参考例句：

• A worker put a prop against the wall of the tunnel to keep it from falling.一名工人用东西支撑住隧道壁好使它不会倒塌。
• The government does not intend to prop up declining industries.政府无意扶持不景气的企业。

32 condescending   

adj.谦逊的,故意屈尊的

参考例句：

• He has a condescending attitude towards women. 他对女性总是居高临下。
• He tends to adopt a condescending manner when talking to young women. 和年轻女子说话时，他喜欢摆出一副高高在上的姿态。

33 jack   

n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克

参考例句：

• I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。
• He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。

34 feign   

vt.假装，佯作

参考例句：

• He used to feign an excuse.他惯于伪造口实。
• She knew that her efforts to feign cheerfulness weren't convincing.她明白自己强作欢颜是瞒不了谁的。

35 attentiveness   

[医]注意

参考例句：

• They all helped one another with humourous attentiveness. 他们带着近于滑稽的殷勤互相周旋。 来自辞典例句
• Is not attentiveness the nature of, even the function of, Conscious? 专注不正是大我意识的本质甚或活动吗？ 来自互联网

36 ballad   

n.歌谣，民谣，流行爱情歌曲

参考例句：

• This poem has the distinctive flavour of a ballad.这首诗有民歌风味。
• This is a romantic ballad that is pure corn.这是一首极为伤感的浪漫小曲。

37 lighter   

n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级

参考例句：

• The portrait was touched up so as to make it lighter.这张画经过润色，色调明朗了一些。
• The lighter works off the car battery.引燃器利用汽车蓄电池打火。

38 poised   

a.摆好姿势不动的

参考例句：

• The hawk poised in mid-air ready to swoop. 老鹰在半空中盘旋，准备俯冲。
• Tina was tense, her hand poised over the telephone. 蒂娜心情紧张，手悬在电话机上。

39 hovers   

鸟( hover的第三人称单数 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫

参考例句：

• A hawk hovers in the sky. 一只老鹰在天空盘旋。
• A hen hovers her chicks. 一只母鸡在孵小鸡。

40 bloody   

adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染

参考例句：

• He got a bloody nose in the fight.他在打斗中被打得鼻子流血。
• He is a bloody fool.他是一个十足的笨蛋。

41 earache   

n.耳朵痛

参考例句：

• I have been having an earache for about a week.我的耳朵已经痛了一个星期了。
• I've had an earache for the past few days.我耳痛好几天了。

42 vertigo   

n.眩晕

参考例句：

• He had a dreadful attack of vertigo.他忽然头晕得厉害。
• If you have vertigo it seems as if the whole room is spinning round you.如果你头晕，就会觉得整个房间都旋转起来

43 suburban   

adj.城郊的，在郊区的

参考例句：

• Suburban shopping centers were springing up all over America. 效区的商业中心在美国如雨后春笋般地兴起。
• There's a lot of good things about suburban living.郊区生活是有许多优点。

44 sprawl   

vi.躺卧，扩张，蔓延；vt.使蔓延；n.躺卧，蔓延

参考例句：

• In our garden,bushes are allowed to sprawl as they will.在我们园子里，灌木丛爱怎么蔓延就怎么蔓延。
• He is lying in a sprawl on the bed.他伸开四肢躺在床上。

45 disposition   

n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署

参考例句：

• He has made a good disposition of his property.他已对财产作了妥善处理。
• He has a cheerful disposition.他性情开朗。

46 veins   

n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理

参考例句：

• The blood flows from the capillaries back into the veins. 血从毛细血管流回静脉。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I felt a pleasant glow in all my veins from the wine. 喝过酒后我浑身的血都热烘烘的，感到很舒服。 来自《简明英汉词典》

47 virgin   

n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的

参考例句：

• Have you ever been to a virgin forest?你去过原始森林吗？
• There are vast expanses of virgin land in the remote regions.在边远地区有大片大片未开垦的土地。

48 oust   

vt.剥夺，取代，驱逐

参考例句：

• The committee wanted to oust him from the union.委员会想把他从工会中驱逐出去。
• The leaders have been ousted from power by nationalists.这些领导人被民族主义者赶下了台。

49 translucent   

adj.半透明的；透明的

参考例句：

• The building is roofed entirely with translucent corrugated plastic.这座建筑完全用半透明瓦楞塑料封顶。
• A small difference between them will render the composite translucent.微小的差别,也会使复合材料变成半透明。