3 Reasons We Cause Ourselves To Suffer

3 Reasons We Cause Ourselves To Suffer

 “The mind is its own place, and in it self can make a Heavn of Hell, a Hell of Heavn.” — John Milton

Understanding why we cause ourselves to suffer is the first step in learning to let go and be free of our attachments¹. Anthony Robbins, in his book, Unlimited² Power, says that everything we do in life comes from our need to avoid pain and our desire to gain pleasure. We will do far more to avoid pain then we will to gain pleasure. Pain is the great motivator. And yet if pleasure and happiness is what we all are looking for why do we cause ourselves so much suffering?

Buddhist³ nun⁴, Pema Chodron in her book The Places That Scare You describes how we suffer due to three misunderstandings:

1. We expect that which is always changing to be predictable. Even though we can see that life is constantly shifting, we continue to live our lives thinking that nothing will change. We demand a sense of security in our lives and so we attach to the illusion of permanence in an impermanent world.

2. We go about our lives thinking we are separate from everything with a fixed⁵ ego⁶ identity. Life is all about me, myself, and I. Whether we are building ourselves up to be something special or knocking ourselves down with self-criticism, the center of our universe is the irrefutable ego-driven self.

3. We look for happiness in situations that cause suffering. We take many actions that provide a temporary relief from our afflicted⁷ emotions, but then they turn around and whack⁸ us upside the head. For example, alcohol and drugs dull the reality of your life, but then shift you right back into an even greater pain. Shopaholics have the distraction⁹ of buying things to fill the emptiness, but then are faced with the bills to pay.

Food, drink, drugs, adventure, sex, and entertainment can be a whole lot of fun, but in the end they can cause pain and suffering. Buddhist teachings tell us that these distractions¹⁰ keep us from bypassing the controlling ego and finding our true Self. Nonetheless, they are as much a part of the path toward liberation as restraint, compassion¹¹, moral conduct, and kindness. Every step you take is your path—all the difficulties as well as those moments of happiness. Our petty tyrants¹² and challenging situations are the lessons we meet on our spiritual journey, in order to learn compassion and loving-kindness. When life becomes difficult, we have to do something to ease the discomfort¹³.

We are constantly trying to stabilize¹⁴ ourselves on a ship that is being tossed around in a storm at sea. Rather than go with the flow, we try to make life predictable, which feels safe. I remember seeing a cartoon that summed up for me how unpredictable life can be. It was a picture of the corner of a brick building. Coming from the right is a peanut vendor¹⁵, with his tray of peanuts hanging from his neck as he calls out, “Peanuts for sale.” To the left, pressed up against the side of the building, lying in wait, is an elephant.

You never know what is waiting around the corner, but you can be sure that it will be something you didn’t expect or plan for.

1 attachments   

n.（用电子邮件发送的）附件( attachment的名词复数 )；附着；连接；附属物

参考例句：

• The vacuum cleaner has four different attachments. 吸尘器有四个不同的附件。
• It's an electric drill with a range of different attachments. 这是一个带有各种配件的电钻。

2 unlimited   

adj.无限的，不受控制的，无条件的

参考例句：

• They flew over the unlimited reaches of the Arctic.他们飞过了茫茫无边的北极上空。
• There is no safety in unlimited technological hubris.在技术方面自以为是会很危险。

3 Buddhist   

adj./n.佛教的，佛教徒

参考例句：

• The old lady fell down in adoration before Buddhist images.那老太太在佛像面前顶礼膜拜。
• In the eye of the Buddhist,every worldly affair is vain.在佛教徒的眼里，人世上一切事情都是空的。

4 nun   

n.修女，尼姑

参考例句：

• I can't believe that the famous singer has become a nun.我无法相信那个著名的歌星已做了修女。
• She shaved her head and became a nun.她削发为尼。

5 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

6 ego   

n.自我，自己，自尊

参考例句：

• He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
• She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。

7 afflicted   

使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• About 40% of the country's population is afflicted with the disease. 全国40%左右的人口患有这种疾病。
• A terrible restlessness that was like to hunger afflicted Martin Eden. 一阵可怕的、跟饥饿差不多的不安情绪折磨着马丁·伊登。

8 whack   

v.敲击，重打，瓜分；n.重击，重打，尝试，一份

参考例句：

• After years of dieting,Carol's metabolism was completely out of whack.经过数年的节食，卡罗尔的新陈代谢完全紊乱了。
• He gave me a whack on the back to wake me up.他为把我弄醒，在我背上猛拍一下。

9 distraction   

n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐

参考例句：

• Total concentration is required with no distractions.要全神贯注，不能有丝毫分神。
• Their national distraction is going to the disco.他们的全民消遣就是去蹦迪。

10 distractions   

n.使人分心的事[人]( distraction的名词复数 )；娱乐，消遣；心烦意乱；精神错乱

参考例句：

• I find it hard to work at home because there are too many distractions. 我发觉在家里工作很难，因为使人分心的事太多。
• There are too many distractions here to work properly. 这里叫人分心的事太多，使人无法好好工作。 来自《简明英汉词典》

11 compassion   

n.同情，怜悯

参考例句：

• He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
• Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。

12 tyrants   

专制统治者( tyrant的名词复数 )； 暴君似的人； （古希腊的）僭主； 严酷的事物

参考例句：

• The country was ruled by a succession of tyrants. 这个国家接连遭受暴君的统治。
• The people suffered under foreign tyrants. 人民在异族暴君的统治下受苦受难。

13 discomfort   

n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便

参考例句：

• One has to bear a little discomfort while travelling.旅行中总要忍受一点不便。
• She turned red with discomfort when the teacher spoke.老师讲话时她不好意思地红着脸。

14 stabilize   

vt.（使）稳定，使稳固，使稳定平衡；vi.稳定

参考例句：

• They are eager to stabilize currencies.他们急于稳定货币。
• His blood pressure tended to stabilize.他的血压趋向稳定。

15 vendor   

n.卖主；小贩

参考例句：

• She looked at the vendor who cheated her the other day with distaste.她厌恶地望着那个前几天曾经欺骗过她的小贩。
• He must inform the vendor immediately.他必须立即通知卖方。