More disgusting than you know

 More disgusting than you know

While in college I took a summer job as a janitor¹ at a middle school. I made some interesting discoveries that summer, like don't mix bleach² and ammonia (different story). But if you had asked me who would be grosser, little boys or little girls, I would've said boys. Hands down. I would've been dead wrong.

Little girls are fucking disgusting. 

The boys’ worst crime was occasionally pissing on the toilet paper rolls, which I would simply pay-it-forward to them by not replacing. (Have fun wiping your ass³ with piss-paper you little shits.) But the girls’ bathroom was always a disaster, every day.

I don’t know if it was intentional⁴ or what the hell was going on, but they pissed on their toilet seats more than the boys did. Once a girl even pissed high up on the wall (that I was frankly⁵ impressed by). And they loved locking the stalls from the inside. This required me to climb underneath⁶ the door to unlock it, which was complicated by the fact that these harpies also pissed on the floor with disturbing frequency.

And that’s just urine… On not one but TWO separate occasions I entered a girls’ bathroom to discover shit - and I mean shit - on the walls and the ceiling. Now, when boys shit in the urinal (which never actually happened during my tenure), that’s one thing. I get that. The difference between shitting in a toilet and shitting in a urinal doesn’t put you out much. It’s worth the joke. But the walls? The fucking ceiling?! Your hands need to get involved there. That takes the steely dedication⁷ of a sick mind.

And please don’t ask what some did with their used tampons and Maxi pads (I really wish pads didn’t have adhesive⁸ on one side). I’m not emotionally ready. I didn’t even know middle-schoolers were menstruating yet! Was there something wrong with the school? Are little girls like this nationwide? 

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Maybe they were acting⁹ out in a void of supervision¹⁰. We expect boys to be gross. The hall monitors would frequently poke¹¹ their heads into the boys’ bathroom to make sure shenanigans weren’t afoot. Not for the girls though. They were in international waters. They could’ve had a fight club or donkey show in there.

Though I think little girls are simply nastier than little boys. Whereas boys are encouraged, even pushed, by fathers and older brothers to let their ids fly, girls are still caught up in the vestigial b.s. of being “ladylike.” Like being a preacher’s kid, I think it has warped¹² their minds and pushed them in dark opposite directions.

So next time you see an eleven or twelve-year-old girl, know that behind all the Hello Kitty there likely lurks¹³ a deviant sociopath. Her daydreams¹⁴ aren’t just of the Jonas Brothers and Twilight¹⁵ – she might be thinking about using her shit to finger-paint too.

1 janitor   

n.看门人，管门人

参考例句：

• The janitor wiped on the windows with his rags.看门人用褴褛的衣服擦着窗户。
• The janitor swept the floors and locked up the building every night.那个看门人每天晚上负责打扫大楼的地板和锁门。

2 bleach   

vt.使漂白；vi.变白；n.漂白剂

参考例句：

• These products don't bleach the hair.这些产品不会使头发变白。
• Did you bleach this tablecloth?你把这块桌布漂白了吗？

3 ass   

n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人

参考例句：

• He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
• An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。

4 intentional   

adj.故意的，有意（识）的

参考例句：

• Let me assure you that it was not intentional.我向你保证那不是故意的。
• His insult was intentional.他的侮辱是有意的。

5 frankly   

adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说

参考例句：

• To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说，我一点也不赞成这个主意。
• Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说，我不反对改革。

6 underneath   

adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面

参考例句：

• Working underneath the car is always a messy job.在汽车底下工作是件脏活。
• She wore a coat with a dress underneath.她穿着一件大衣，里面套着一条连衣裙。

7 dedication   

n.奉献，献身，致力，题献，献辞

参考例句：

• We admire her courage,compassion and dedication.我们钦佩她的勇气、爱心和奉献精神。
• Her dedication to her work was admirable.她对工作的奉献精神可钦可佩。

8 adhesive   

n.粘合剂；adj.可粘着的，粘性的

参考例句：

• You'll need a strong adhesive to mend that chair. 你需要一种粘性很强的东西来修理那把椅子。
• Would you give me an adhesive stamp?请给我一枚带胶邮票好吗？

9 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

10 supervision   

n.监督，管理

参考例句：

• The work was done under my supervision.这项工作是在我的监督之下完成的。
• The old man's will was executed under the personal supervision of the lawyer.老人的遗嘱是在律师的亲自监督下执行的。

11 poke   

n.刺，戳，袋；vt.拨开，刺，戳；vi.戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢

参考例句：

• We never thought she would poke her nose into this.想不到她会插上一手。
• Don't poke fun at me.别拿我凑趣儿。

12 warped   

adj.反常的；乖戾的；（变）弯曲的；变形的v.弄弯，变歪( warp的过去式和过去分词 )；使（行为等）不合情理，使乖戾，

参考例句：

• a warped sense of humour 畸形的幽默感
• The board has warped. 木板翘了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

13 lurks   

n.潜在，潜伏；（lurk的复数形式）vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的第三人称单数形式）

参考例句：

• Behind his cool exterior lurks a reckless and frustrated person. 在冷酷的外表背后，他是一个鲁莽又不得志的人。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Good fortune lies within Bad, Bad fortune lurks within good. 福兮祸所倚，祸兮福所伏。 来自互联网

14 daydreams   

n.白日梦( daydream的名词复数 )v.想入非非，空想( daydream的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• Often they gave themselves up to daydreams of escape. 他们常沉溺进这种逃避现实的白日梦。 来自英汉文学
• I would become disgusted with my futile daydreams. 我就讨厌自己那种虚无的梦想。 来自辞典例句

15 twilight   

n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期

参考例句：

• Twilight merged into darkness.夕阳的光辉融于黑暗中。
• Twilight was sweet with the smell of lilac and freshly turned earth.薄暮充满紫丁香和新翻耕的泥土的香味。