失败了必须问自己的五个问题

As we go through life we have relationships that don't work out, jobs that just aren't right, exams that we flunk¹, initiatives that don't succeed. The more new things we try the more failures we are likely to have. In fact, the only way to avoid failure is to do nothing new.

　　这一生，我们总会遇到纠缠不清的人际关系、不甚满意的工作、未通过的考试，或者不曾实现的计划。尝试越多，挫折也越多。除非什么都不干，否则难免遭受打击。

　　The important thing is how we deal with failure. It can be part of a downward slide in which lack of confidence reinforces feelings of inadequacy² and incompetence³. But experiencing failure can be a learning experience and an opportunity for a fresh start. A good way to begin this process is by asking yoruself some tough questions.

　　关键是我们如何面对失败。人走下坡路，往往会自卑，感到无能为力。但失败也是吸取教训、重新开始的机会。要重新开始，最好认真思考下面几个问题。

　　1. What can I learn from this?

　　我从失败中学到了什么？

　　Take responsibility for what went wrong. OK, so it was not all your fault — but some of it was. Successful people don't make excuses or blame others. They take ownership of the issues. Be critical but constructive⁴. Try to look at the experience objectively. Make a list of the key things that happened. Analyze⁵ the list step-by-step and look for the learning points.

　　为所犯的错承担责任。的确，失败并非完全你的错，但你也确实在责难逃吧。成功的人从来不为失败找借口或抱怨他人，而是坦然承担责任。所以，试着客观看待挫折，列出清单，一步一步认真总结才好。

　　2. What could I have done differently?

　　如果重来一次会不会有不同的处理方式？

　　What other options did you have? What choices did you make? How could you have handled it differently? With the benefit of hindsight, what different steps would you have taken?

　　当初是否还有其他途径？可否换一种方式处理？后见之明或许能让你发现原来还有别的方法解决问题。

　　3. Do I need to acquire or improve some skills?

　　我的能力是否亟待提高？

　　Did the problem reveal some lack of skill on your part? How could you learn or improve those skills? Perhaps there are books or courses or people you could turn to. Make a self-development plan to acquire the skills and experiences you need.

　　挫折是否也代表你能力不足呢？该怎样弥补？或许，你可以读书、上课或向人请教。制定计划，努力提高自己的能力吧。

　　4. Who can I learn from?

　　我能向谁学习？

　　Is there someone to whom you can turn to for advice? Did a boss, colleague or a friend see what happened? If they are constructive and supportive then ask them for some feedback and guidance. Most people do not ask for help because they believe it to be a sign of weakness rather than strength. It's not. It shows that you are ready to learn and change. Any good friend will be happy to help.

　　身边有没有可以求助的人？如果上司、同事或朋友能够理解，你可以多征求他们的意见。很多人都觉得求助意味着无能，真是大错特错。你开口求助，表示你渴望学习和改变，朋友当然会很乐意！

　　5. What will I do next?

　　接下来该怎么办？

　　Now draw up an action plan. Will you try something similar or something different? Revisit your goals and objectives. This reversal has been a setback⁷ on your journey but think of it as a diversion rather than a halt. You can now reset⁸ your sights on your destination and plan a new course.

　　制定行动方案。你想一如既往还是有所不同？好好审视自己的目标吧。失败并不意味着你要放弃，或许你只需换种方式而已。所以，你应重新审视目标，调整实施计划。

　　If you read the life stories of successful people — especially inventors, explorers, scientists or statesmen — you will find that their early careers are littered with failures. Walt Disney, Thomas Edison and Henry Ford⁹ are typical examples. Abraham Lincoln, suffered many defeats in his career in politics including losing the nomination¹⁰ for vice⁶ president in 1856 and his second run at being a U.S. Senator in 1858. Two years later he was elected president.

　　如果你常读成功人士的故事——尤其是那些发明家、探险家、科学家或政治家的，你会发现，很多人早年都处处碰壁。沃尔特·迪士尼、托马斯·爱迪生以及亨利·福特都是很好的例子。再比如亚伯拉罕·林肯，政治生涯屡屡受挫：1856年，错失副总统提名；1858年，参议员竞选再度落榜；直到两年后，他才成为美国总统。

　　The important point is to use your setbacks as learning experiences and make them stepping stones to future success. There are always positives you can take from every episode in your life. Asking yourself these five questions can help find them.

　　所以，你应该把失败看作吸取教训、走向成功的垫脚石。生命中的每段历程，都有积极乐观的一面。多问问自己这五个问题，或许你就能茅塞顿开。

1 flunk   

v.(考试)不及格(=fail)

参考例句：

• I will flunk him if my student doesn't learn the material in the course.如果我的学生没有掌握课程的内容，我就会让他不及格。
• If you flunk finals,you don't get the chance to do them again.如果你没通过期末考试，就没有机会再考一次了。

2 inadequacy   

n.无法胜任，信心不足

参考例句：

• the inadequacy of our resources 我们的资源的贫乏
• The failure is due to the inadequacy of preparations. 这次失败是由于准备不足造成的。

3 incompetence   

n.不胜任，不称职

参考例句：

• He was dismissed for incompetence. 他因不称职而被解雇。
• She felt she had been made a scapegoat for her boss's incompetence. 她觉得，本是老板无能，但她却成了替罪羊。

4 constructive   

adj.建设的，建设性的

参考例句：

• We welcome constructive criticism.我们乐意接受有建设性的批评。
• He is beginning to deal with his anger in a constructive way.他开始用建设性的方法处理自己的怒气。

5 analyze   

vt.分析，解析 (=analyse)

参考例句：

• We should analyze the cause and effect of this event.我们应该分析这场事变的因果。
• The teacher tried to analyze the cause of our failure.老师设法分析我们失败的原因。

6 vice   

n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的

参考例句：

• He guarded himself against vice.他避免染上坏习惯。
• They are sunk in the depth of vice.他们堕入了罪恶的深渊。

7 setback   

n.退步，挫折，挫败

参考例句：

• Since that time there has never been any setback in his career.从那时起他在事业上一直没有遇到周折。
• She views every minor setback as a disaster.她把每个较小的挫折都看成重大灾难。

8 reset   

v.重新安排，复位；n.重新放置；重放之物

参考例句：

• As soon as you arrive at your destination,step out of the aircraft and reset your wristwatch.你一到达目的地，就走出飞机并重新设置手表时间。
• He is recovering from an operation to reset his arm.他做了一个手臂复位手术，正在恢复。

9 Ford   

n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过

参考例句：

• They were guarding the bridge,so we forded the river.他们驻守在那座桥上，所以我们只能涉水过河。
• If you decide to ford a stream,be extremely careful.如果已决定要涉过小溪，必须极度小心。

10 nomination   

n.提名，任命，提名权

参考例句：

• John is favourite to get the nomination for club president.约翰最有希望被提名为俱乐部主席。
• Few people pronounced for his nomination.很少人表示赞成他的提名。