陈愉:30岁前别结婚

 Female? Check.

Over the age of 27? Check!

Single…? All check!

Well, in that case, congrats– 'cause you officially win the title of being a "leftover¹ woman", or widely known as "Sheng Nv"(剩女) in China.

In this society where women traditionally marry young and marriage is still commonly regarded as women's sole source of happiness and fulfilment, being a singleton around a certain age is undoubtedly² stuck with stigma³.

Joy Chen, a Chinese-American who got hitched⁴ at the late-blooming age of 38, is in shock by the prevalence of this social discrimination.

陈愉:30岁前别结婚

"This generation of women in China is the first generation in thousands of years in China that face so many choices. But meanwhile, there is still so much ancient pressure which is totally out-dated. I was talking to a young Chinese woman. She is now in her 27ish. She was very successful on her work and she had her own apartment in Beijing, which is a very expansive city. Something was wrong in her apartment so she invited her plumber⁵ over to fix it. And the plumber looked around and saw no signs of children and husband. And he said: 'You haven't got married yet?' And she felt that she has to apologize to him, like: 'haven't found Mr Right yet.' She told me that and I felt that is totally different from the experience of American woman."

Born in the United States to migrant parents, Joy Chen is undeniably a high-flyer and advocate of self-reliance. At age 31, she became the deputy mayor of Los Angeles. After years in public service, she has turned into an elite⁶ corporate⁷ headhunter who finds CEOs for global companies.

Yet recruiting top talents is not her sole job. As the number of Chinese students in America shoots up year by year, Chen has started a blog to provide advice for those young females on their career, relationships and personal development. The growing popularity of the blog has won attention of CITIC Press, a major publishing house in China, to accredit⁸ her to write a strategy book for Chinese women.

But the author emphasizes that the catchy⁹ title of her debut¹⁰, Do Not Marry before Age 30, is not something that comes in a flash.

"A hundred years ago, the life expectancy¹¹ of women in China was 35. So women were to take care of our biological standpoints. Our most important responsibility during our time on Earth was to create more Chinese people. But now, you and I may live to our hundreds! So judged on one fact alone, we have to totally change the way we look at our lives. The 20s has become a time of exploration, a time to explore careers, explore ideas, date around. Because now we have to find somebody not to stay with us for ten or twenty years, we have to find someone who can be by our sides for sixty or seventy years. That's a huge, totally new proposition. "

Containing snippets of personal experience, quotes of those who are famous and knowledgeable¹² while infusing with hand-on tips, the self-help book, Do Not Marry before Age 30 acts as a guide for young ladies who are struggling or are rebuffed in both love and career. Stating in sheer frankness and honesty, the popular blogger tries to pour out her understanding on the crisis of the so-called leftover women, the universal sense of insecurity, and all those frustrating¹³ hang-ups in womanhood.

"So the first part of the book is 'become Ms Right'. But how to become Ms Right? Because I think a lot of women got a lot of encouraging messages, like: Go up there! Jia You! Ni Hen Bang! Like, you are awesome¹⁴! Go for it! Act it, girl! But they don't really know specifically, in a very practical terms, how to put step-by-step forward. The second half of the book is, since I am the CEO headhunter for seven years, how to use CEO headhunting methods to hunt Mr Right. So again, I think what I really try to create is a book of very practical advice."

Practical it is.

Flipping¹⁵ through the pages, readers could learn how to find their respective A plus skills and land better jobs, why women should take heed¹⁶ of office romance and sugar daddies, and find out whether late childbirth could lead to Down Syndrome¹⁷. By gushing¹⁸ over how to date and love, the author tries to emphasize that no matter you are within the institution of marriage or not, it is important for woman to understand the mind set of the opposite sex, although they are from Mars, another sphere from our home planet Venus.

"Men and women actually think differently. But understanding them better and understanding better how to communicate with them, we can be better people. You know, men are adorable in their own way. We can learn to love and enjoy their friendship. But we have to go out and spend time with them to do that."

Published in 2012, Do Not Marry before Age 30 had become a smash hit in China, as it points out that there is no magic number of one's marriage age while no deadend for singletons.

But girls, please be aware that life doesn't come with instructions. It's your life, you need to seize it.

1 leftover   

n.剩货，残留物，剩饭；adj.残余的

参考例句：

• These narrow roads are a leftover from the days of horse-drawn carriages.这些小道是从马车时代沿用下来的。
• Wonder if that bakery lets us take leftover home.不知道那家糕饼店会不会让我们把卖剩的带回家。

2 undoubtedly   

adv.确实地，无疑地

参考例句：

• It is undoubtedly she who has said that.这话明明是她说的。
• He is undoubtedly the pride of China.毫无疑问他是中国的骄傲。

3 stigma   

n.耻辱，污名；(花的)柱头

参考例句：

• Being an unmarried mother used to carry a social stigma.做未婚母亲在社会上曾是不光彩的事。
• The stigma of losing weighed heavily on the team.失败的耻辱让整个队伍压力沉重。

4 hitched   

（免费）搭乘他人之车( hitch的过去式和过去分词 )； 搭便车； 攀上； 跃上

参考例句：

• They hitched a ride in a truck. 他们搭乘了一辆路过的货车。
• We hitched a ride in a truck yesterday. 我们昨天顺便搭乘了一辆卡车。

5 plumber   

n.(装修水管的)管子工

参考例句：

• Have you asked the plumber to come and look at the leaking pipe?你叫管道工来检查漏水的管子了吗？
• The plumber screwed up the tap by means of a spanner.管子工用板手把龙头旋紧。

6 elite   

n.精英阶层；实力集团；adj.杰出的，卓越的

参考例句：

• The power elite inside the government is controlling foreign policy.政府内部的一群握有实权的精英控制着对外政策。
• We have a political elite in this country.我们国家有一群政治精英。

7 corporate   

adj.共同的，全体的；公司的，企业的

参考例句：

• This is our corporate responsibility.这是我们共同的责任。
• His corporate's life will be as short as a rabbit's tail.他的公司的寿命是兔子尾巴长不了。

8 accredit   

vt.归功于，认为

参考例句：

• The president will accredit you as his assistant.董事长将任命你做他的助理。
• We accredit the invention of the electric light to Adison.我们把电灯的发明归功于爱迪生。

9 catchy   

adj.易记住的，诡诈的，易使人上当的

参考例句：

• We need a new slogan.The old one's not catchy enough.我们需要新的口号，旧的不够吸引人。
• The chorus is very catchy to say the least.副歌部分很容易上口。

10 debut   

n.首次演出，初次露面

参考例句：

• That same year he made his Broadway debut, playing a suave radio journalist.在那同一年里，他初次在百老汇登台，扮演一个温文而雅的电台记者。
• The actress made her debut in the new comedy.这位演员在那出新喜剧中首次登台演出。

11 expectancy   

n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额

参考例句：

• Japanese people have a very high life expectancy.日本人的平均寿命非常长。
• The atomosphere of tense expectancy sobered everyone.这种期望的紧张气氛使每个人变得严肃起来。

12 knowledgeable   

adj.知识渊博的；有见识的

参考例句：

• He's quite knowledgeable about the theatre.他对戏剧很有心得。
• He made some knowledgeable remarks at the meeting.他在会上的发言颇有见地。

13 frustrating   

adj.产生挫折的，使人沮丧的，令人泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的现在分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧

参考例句：

• It's frustrating to have to wait so long. 要等这么长时间，真令人懊恼。
• It was a demeaning and ultimately frustrating experience. 那是一次有失颜面并且令人沮丧至极的经历。 来自《简明英汉词典》

14 awesome   

adj.令人惊叹的，难得吓人的，很好的

参考例句：

• The church in Ireland has always exercised an awesome power.爱尔兰的教堂一直掌握着令人敬畏的权力。
• That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了.

15 flipping   

讨厌之极的

参考例句：

• I hate this flipping hotel! 我讨厌这个该死的旅馆！
• Don't go flipping your lid. 别发火。

16 heed   

v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心

参考例句：

• You must take heed of what he has told.你要注意他所告诉的事。
• For the first time he had to pay heed to his appearance.这是他第一次非得注意自己的外表不可了。

17 syndrome   

n.综合病症；并存特性

参考例句：

• The Institute says that an unidentified virus is to blame for the syndrome. 该研究所表示,引起这种综合症的是一种尚未确认的病毒。
• Results indicated that 11 fetuses had Down syndrome. 结果表明有11个胎儿患有唐氏综合征。

18 gushing   

adj.迸出的；涌出的；喷出的；过分热情的v.喷，涌( gush的现在分词 )；滔滔不绝地说话

参考例句：

• blood gushing from a wound 从伤口冒出的血
• The young mother was gushing over a baby. 那位年轻的母亲正喋喋不休地和婴儿说话。 来自《简明英汉词典》