艾伦脱口秀第360期:赚钱的法子

 　　Thank you very much.That's a lot of love and thank you so much,that's very very sweet. 非常感谢你们 感谢你们的厚爱 太窝心了

　　Tony,did you have any idea that was gonna turn into what it did.I didn't have slightest Tony 你知不知道那东西为什么会变那样 我一点都不知道

　　Did you see any of that stuff? It just took off like warfare¹.Crazy, 你看见那些东西了吗 就跟烟花一样射出来 疯狂

　　yes,Crazy wasn't it.Yes very much so.All right,I'm fine,I'm fine 真疯狂 不是吗 是啊 很疯狂 我很好 我很好

　　I'll tell you who's not fine right now though,who is.The US postal² service.Oh yeah 我告诉你谁不好 谁 美国邮政系统 噢 没错

　　They are running out of money,Did you hear about this 他们快没钱了 你听说了吗

　　They have plans to get rid of Saturday delivery 他们打算周六不送信了

　　So if mailman comes and knocks at your door and says they have a special package for you.Don't,don't open the door 所以如果有邮递员敲门说 有个特殊包裹给你 可别 千万别开门

　　I came up with a way that the post office can generate more money,I don't know why I have to think of everything 我帮他们想了个赚钱的法子 我真不明白为什么所有事都要我来操心

　　All they have to do is to sell space on their uniform like they do in NASCAR.Andy come on now. 他们只要像NASCAR全美赛车那样 在衣服上卖广告就行了 Andy 上台吧

　　Cover Girl,Tide,Halo,Groupon,American Express.Look at the back,one of the sponsors is my book 封面女郎 汰渍 Halo 团购网 美国运通 看看他背后 其中一个广告商是我的书

　　Wonderful,it's in stores on 14th October,you can preorder at amazone com 真不错 书10月14日上市 你可以先在亚马逊预定

　　Oh that should be on the shirt by the way.The post,bye Andy 刚才那句话应该帖在衬衫上就好了 再见 Andy

1 warfare   

n.战争(状态)；斗争；冲突

参考例句：

• He addressed the audience on the subject of atomic warfare.他向听众演讲有关原子战争的问题。
• Their struggle consists mainly in peasant guerrilla warfare.他们的斗争主要是农民游击战。

2 postal   

adj.邮政的，邮局的

参考例句：

• A postal network now covers the whole country.邮路遍及全国。
• Remember to use postal code.勿忘使用邮政编码。