七种最土的求婚方式

  Being engaged is all about going to cake tastings, being forced to have an opinion on centerpieces, and answering “how did you propose” about one billion times. Women expect to hear something romantic, like you swooped¹ down on a flying unicorn² and popped the question as you flew past the sunset. No one wants to hear that you asked her during halftime to order some more wings and/or marry you. Avoid looking like a completely douchebag by not proposing in any of the following ways.

    订婚了就要到处张罗：品尝蛋糕，发表订婚感言，还得不厌其烦地无数次回答：“你是怎么求婚的？” 这个问题。女人喜欢听到很浪漫的求婚戏码，比方说你在夕阳的背景下骑着飞行的独角兽，突然冲到她面前向她求婚。没人会喜欢你在去订鸡翅的半路上问她要不要嫁给你。不想做个讨厌鬼，就别像下面这几种方式求婚：

1、The Post-Pregnancy Proposal

奉子求婚

    Since it’s not the 1950′s anymore and out-of-wedlock mothers aren’t required to wear the scarlet³ letter, there’s no reason to pop the question just because she’s pregnant. Getting married won’t change the fact that a baby is coming and all your beer money is now going to be going into the diaper fund. Do the gentleman-like thing, ask for the kid to be named after you, write her a check for 18 years of child support, and get a vasectomy.

    现在已经不是20世纪50年代了，未婚先孕的妈妈也不会被钉上耻辱柱受世俗的指责，所以不用在她怀孕的时候突然求婚。结婚不会改变孩子马上要出生而你的零花钱得全部用作奶粉钱的事实。有点绅士风度，真诚地请求让这个孩子跟你姓，给她写张支票支付孩子未来18年的抚养费，然后去做结扎绝育手术。

2、The During Her Marriage Proposal

抢婚式求婚

    Despite what Hollywood may tell you, brides do not want you barging into their wedding, stopping the vows⁴, and proclaiming your love for them. And I’ll tell you what, there are extremely high odds⁵ that she will say no. So have some class and save the big, romantic movie gestures for moments when they’re needed — such as when you ask your girlfriend to choose you over her wildly successful job.

    别管好莱坞电影是怎么演的，任何新娘都不会想让你闯入她的婚礼现场，阻止宣誓仪式，向她和她的新郎宣告你对她的爱。 跟你说实话吧，她十有八九会拒绝你。所以拜托你长点脑子，那些宏大浪漫的电影桥段留到需要的时候吧：比方说你要求女朋友在你和她的成功事业间做选择的时候。

3、The Edible-Ring Proposal

藏在蛋糕里的戒指

    It sounds romantically-cliche⁶ to propose via an engagement ring hidden at the bottom of chocolate mousse. In reality, it’s a subconscious⁷ death wish for your significant other. After all, if you were caught placing choke-able objects in someone’s food in any other situation, you would be arrested for attempted murder.

    把订婚戒指藏在巧克力蛋糕里求婚，听起来似乎是很浪漫，但其实已经老掉牙了。实际上，这种求婚方式可能给你的另一半带来潜在的死亡危险。毕竟在任何情形下你把可能会噎死人的东西放在别人的食物里，你都可能因为意图谋杀罪被捕。

4、The Funeral Proposal

葬礼上的求婚

    Going to a funeral naturally makes you freak out about your future. You’re wondering if you’ve done anything worthwhile with your life besides that 9 minute keg stand junior year of college. But your mid-life crisis is no reason to reach out to last week’s one-night stand and ask them to marry you. Instead of putting yourself on the fast track for a divorce, ask out the hottest girl at the funeral, and pray like hell you’re not related.

    参加葬礼一般都会让你对未来感到崩溃。你会反思人生，觉得自己除了在大三的时候玩游戏外，人生再也没啥有价值的事情了。不过中年危机并不能成为你的借口，让你向上周跟你一夜情的姑娘伸出魔掌让她们嫁给你。别自己搭上闪电离婚的快车，不如邀请葬礼上身材最火辣的姑娘跟你约会吧，而且最好祈祷你们没啥关系。

5、The Public Proposal

当众求婚

    Deciding to get married is kind of a big deal. It’s up there with deciding what you should do for a living and what secret file name you should hide your porn under. So why put your girlfriend on the spot by popping the question in front of family and friends? Odds are she won’t want to say “let’s talk about this later” in front of everyone. Instead you’ll get an awkward silence while she contemplates⁸ the question followed by a half-assed yes.

    决定要结婚是件大事，和考虑要靠什么谋生还有该把成人电影藏在哪个秘密文件下一样重要。所以在大庭广众亲朋好友面前突然当场求婚？有可能她不会当着大家的面说“我们晚点再说吧”，但是她在思考这个问题的时候，你得经历一段尴尬的沉默，而她的回答也多半会是不情不愿的“好吧”。

6、The Social Media Proposal

社交媒体求婚

    Just because everyone communicates in 140 characters or less these days doesn’t mean that you should propose via Facebook status. Nothing says I’m too lazy to get offline like an e-mail with the subject line “will you marry me.” And please don’t think adding in a clever kissy smiley face will help matters at all.

    虽然现在每个人都在用140字限制的社交网络来相互联系，但这并不意味着你就应该通过facebook求婚。懒到发一份主题为“你愿意嫁给我吗”的求婚邮件就匆匆下线，你别以为加个可爱的亲吻笑脸就能一切搞定了。

7、The Valentine’s Day Proposal

情人节求婚

    Isn’t there enough going on with women carrying around carnations⁹ and adult men dressed as giant baby cupids? There’s no need to add to the corniness of the holiday by throwing in a wedding proposal. The only exception to this cliche proposal is if you forget to get a gift and need to think of something in a hurry.

    拜托，情人节的大街上抱着康乃馨的女人和穿成巨婴丘比特的成年男人还少吗？没必要再老土到在这天提出求婚。不过这种老土的求婚戏码也可以有例外：要是你忘了买情人节礼物得马上想出点什么惊喜的话。

1 swooped   

俯冲，猛冲( swoop的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The aircraft swooped down over the buildings. 飞机俯冲到那些建筑物上方。
• The hawk swooped down on the rabbit and killed it. 鹰猛地朝兔子扑下来，并把它杀死。

2 unicorn   

n.(传说中的)独角兽

参考例句：

• The unicorn is an imaginary beast.独角兽是幻想出来的动物。
• I believe unicorn was once living in the world.我相信独角兽曾经生活在这个世界。

3 scarlet   

n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的

参考例句：

• The scarlet leaves of the maples contrast well with the dark green of the pines.深红的枫叶和暗绿的松树形成了明显的对比。
• The glowing clouds are growing slowly pale,scarlet,bright red,and then light red.天空的霞光渐渐地淡下去了，深红的颜色变成了绯红，绯红又变为浅红。

4 vows   

誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿

参考例句：

• Matrimonial vows are to show the faithfulness of the new couple. 婚誓体现了新婚夫妇对婚姻的忠诚。
• The nun took strait vows. 那位修女立下严格的誓愿。

5 odds   

n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别

参考例句：

• The odds are 5 to 1 that she will win.她获胜的机会是五比一。
• Do you know the odds of winning the lottery once?你知道赢得一次彩票的几率多大吗？

6 cliche   

n./a.陈词滥调(的)；老生常谈(的)；陈腐的

参考例句：

• You should always try to avoid the use of cliche. 你应该尽量避免使用陈词滥调。
• The old cliche is certainly true:the bigger car do mean bigger profits.有句老话倒的确说得不假:车大利大。

7 subconscious   

n./adj.潜意识(的)，下意识(的)

参考例句：

• Nail biting is often a subconscious reaction to tension.咬指甲通常是紧张时的下意识反映。
• My answer seemed to come from the subconscious.我的回答似乎出自下意识。

8 contemplates   

深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的第三人称单数 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想

参考例句：

• She contemplates leaving for the sake of the kids. 她考虑为了孩子而离开。
• Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them. 事物的美存在于细心观察它的人的头脑中。

9 carnations   

n.麝香石竹，康乃馨( carnation的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• You should also include some carnations to emphasize your underlying meaning.\" 另外要配上石竹花来加重这涵意的力量。” 来自汉英文学 - 围城
• Five men per ha. were required for rose production, 6 or 7 men for carnations. 种植玫瑰每公顷需5个男劳力，香石竹需6、7个男劳力。 来自辞典例句