How to Make Him Value You Sincerely

Making people value and respect you, especially the guy you have been crushing on, takes a bit more work than jumping up and down, saying, “Pick me! Pick me!” There is a bunch of silly advice out there that involves tricking guys into falling for a version of you that does not exist. If you really want him to see you for who you are and value you immensely, you need to be what he does not know he needs.

Sounds difficult, right?

Some people call this the “save the day” method. I call shenanigans. Saving people is great and all, but you are not a Wonder Woman. Do not overextend yourself for someone, even when you are trying to make them see what you can deliver. That leads to a bizarre game of give-and-take, where he takes everything and you receive nothing in return. So, if you really want him to respect and value you, do the following:

1. Be comfortable in your own skin

Men are attracted to women who not only have confidence but pride in who they are, where they are from, and what they have done. Confidence is so much more than dressing¹ a certain way. When you can humbly² and intelligently piece together conversation, he will value you more, because of the insight and quality of discussion you can provide.

Confidence in your skills for fixing tires or cooking ethnic³ food, for example, is also something he will find interesting and of value. By the way, if he is not interested in real, stimulating⁴ conversation, I guarantee you that he is only looking for booty.

2. Provide solutions, not blame

This is a trick that works with everyone. People do not like listening to complaints. Ever. Men do not like women who endlessly rant⁵ about something that happened to them half a week ago. To them, you look petty and bigoted⁶. So, instead of laying blame on others, you need to first learn how to actively⁷ accept responsibility for your own muck ups. Second, you need to be able to solve problems – your own and his.

3. Understand what he needs

I am not talking about sex or money or anything like that. Men and women both want meaningful relationships with people they can trust. Whether he realizes it yet or not, you can be that person he turns to in the rainstorm and knows you will have an umbrella to shelter him. Also, you need to understand what drives him, what his likes and dislikes are, and remember that information. Ultimately, his personality will drive his desires.

4. Earn value by giving value

By giving respect to him and those around him, you show that you too are worthy⁸ of respect. Give him kindness, even if he has yet to return that kindness on the same level. Just remember that you cannot win everyone over, but being arrogant⁹ only worsens the chances of him respecting you.

Another way this works is to figure out one thing he does well, like making you laugh. Next time you see him, say, “Hey, I was wondering if you had any new jokes? You always make me laugh, and I really need to laugh right now.” This will strike him because, one, not many people might actually understand his style of humor, and two, you see worth in one of his hobbies.

5. Keep your word

Think about how many broken promises you have encountered throughout the years and how bummed¹⁰ you were to be on the affected¹¹ end. When you say you are going to do something for him, like let him borrow a book, follow through with it. Not only will it surprise him, but it shows you keep up the end of the bargain. Eventually, he will see value in your honesty and devotion to being a good companion.

Value and respect are two main drivers in forming up lasting¹², healthy relationships. You always want a man that sees your worth as a human being, and who respects your abilities. Sometimes, guys need an extra push in the right direction, but by doing these five actions, you will be the ray of light in his sight in no time.

1 dressing   

n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料

参考例句：

• Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
• The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。

2 humbly   

adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地

参考例句：

• We humbly beg Your Majesty to show mercy. 我们恳请陛下发发慈悲。
• "You must be right, Sir,'said John humbly. “你一定是对的，先生，”约翰恭顺地说道。

3 ethnic   

adj.人种的，种族的，异教徒的

参考例句：

• This music would sound more ethnic if you played it in steel drums.如果你用钢鼓演奏，这首乐曲将更具民族特色。
• The plan is likely only to aggravate ethnic frictions.这一方案很有可能只会加剧种族冲突。

4 stimulating   

adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的

参考例句：

• shower gel containing plant extracts that have a stimulating effect on the skin 含有对皮肤有益的植物精华的沐浴凝胶
• This is a drug for stimulating nerves. 这是一种兴奋剂。

5 rant   

v.咆哮；怒吼；n.大话；粗野的话

参考例句：

• You can rant and rave at the fine,but you'll still have to pay it.你闹也好，骂也好，罚金还是得交。
• If we rant on the net,the world is our audience.如果我们在网络上大声嚷嚷，全世界都是我们的听众。

6 bigoted   

adj.固执己见的，心胸狭窄的

参考例句：

• He is so bigoted that it is impossible to argue with him.他固执得不可理喻。
• I'll concede you are not as bigoted as some.我承认你不象有些人那么顽固。

7 actively   

adv.积极地，勤奋地

参考例句：

• During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
• We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。

8 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

9 arrogant   

adj.傲慢的，自大的

参考例句：

• You've got to get rid of your arrogant ways.你这骄傲劲儿得好好改改。
• People are waking up that he is arrogant.人们开始认识到他很傲慢。

10 bummed   

失望的，沮丧的

参考例句：

• I was really bummed out that there were no tickets left. 没有票了，我非常恼火。
• I didn't do anything last summer; I just bummed around. 去年夏天我游手好闲，什么正经事也没做。

11 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

12 lasting   

adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持

参考例句：

• The lasting war debased the value of the dollar.持久的战争使美元贬值。
• We hope for a lasting settlement of all these troubles.我们希望这些纠纷能获得永久的解决。