给15A座乘客的一封信

 　　Want to get even with an annoying fellow airline passenger? Forget Twitter. After all, 140 characters won’t get you very far when you have a lot to complain about. Do like 24-year-old Munyee Lau did after a recent nightmarish eight-hour AirAsia flight from Singapore to Sydney. Write a 550-word manifesto¹ to the passenger in seat 15A who made you crazy all night long.

　　想要报复飞机上令你抓狂的同行乘客？用Twitter？算了吧。在你有很多抱怨时，140字并不能满足你。 像24岁的刘敏仪（音译Munyee Lau）那样做吧！她经历亚航从新加坡到悉尼八个小时噩梦般的飞行后，写了封550字的公开信给坐在15A座的乘客，该名乘客让她整夜崩溃。

　　The Malaysia-based writer posted her scathing² — and hilarious³ — missive on the Singapore humor site SGAG. It has gone viral.

　　这名马来西亚姑娘将她的长信发布在新加坡幽默网站SGAG上，信件内容立刻遭疯转。

　　给15A座乘客的一封信

　　Here’s the full text of Lau’s letter:

　　下面是信的全文：

　　Dear passenger 15A,

　　亲爱的15A座乘客，

　　You do not know me but I was seated in front of you during the flight from Singapore to Sydney on April 12th.

　　您不认识我，我是在4月12号从新加坡飞向悉尼的航班上坐在您前面的乘客。

　　What I had initially⁴ thought to be a routine flight turned out to be a once in a lifetime experience – and it was all because of you.

　　起初我觉得这只是一次普通的飞行，但因为您，这成了我终身难忘的经历。

　　I am writing this letter to thank you personally.

　　写这信的目的就是为了表达对您的感谢。

　　Being the cheapskate that I am, I did not pay extra for a seat next to the emergency exit.

　　我承认我小气，我没有额外加钱坐上紧急出口旁边的座位。

　　Though it offered more legroom, I couldn’t be bothered to read the special safety procedures. The last thing I would want is to compromise the lives of all the innocent passengers because I do not know how to open the airplane door.

　　即使那个位置的空间更大，但我也没耐心去读特殊情况安全守则。而且我不能置全舱人性命于不顾，因为我确实不知道怎样打开机门。

　　Despite my common economy seat, you offered me a full back massage⁵ by repeatedly kicking the back of chair. To date, I have yet to regain⁶ full mobility⁷ of the lower half of my body. But since I am single, I suppose I don’t have much use for it anyway.

　　我坐的是经济舱却享受了全套背部按摩，因为您一直不断在踢我的椅背。到现在我下肢部分还不能恢复正常活动。但反正我单身，也不怎么需要用到下半身。

　　I did not pay for the in-flight entertainment package and I was worried that I might get bored. But my concerns were unnecessary. You were talking so loudly, as if your friend was seated in the cargo⁸ hold rather than right next to you.

　　我也没有购买航班娱乐大礼包，起初我还担心会无聊，但是这种担心很多余。您讲话如此大声，你的朋友是坐在货仓而你旁边吧？

　　Perhaps she’s hard of hearing? This might strike you as odd but for the first time in my life, I wished I had a hearing impairment too.

　　或者，她有点听力障碍？你可能有点吃惊，但这真的是我平生第一次希望自己也有听力障碍。

　　Also, could you tell me where you bought those obnoxious⁹ snacks? I assume that they must have been delicious cause you rip one open every 30 minutes.

　　还有，您能告诉我你从哪带来这些讨厌的零食吗？它们肯定很好吃，因为你每30分钟就会撕开一包。

　　Thanks for the loud rustling¹⁰ and chewing ambient sounds!

　　我听得到包装袋撕开的声音和咀嚼环绕音！

　　At this point, I thought, ‘It can’t get any better than this.’ But immediately, my nose was assaulted by a putrid¹¹ smell of death and decay.

　　那时，我觉得自己真是受够了。但是不久后，我的鼻子又被一股如同死尸腐烂的味道“强奸”了。

　　The stench was so strong that I turned to check if the old lady seated next to me was still breathing.

　　臭味如此之强烈我忍不住检查了下坐我旁边的年老的女士是否还有呼吸。

　　It was so nice of you to take off your shoes and put your feet between my seat and the plane window. It must have taken considerable effort – it was a small space but you stuck it as close to my face as you possibly could.

　　您能把脱掉鞋并把脚放在我座位和飞机玻璃之间真是太厉害了，您肯定费了不少劲吧——这地方那么小，您还能把脚伸在离我脸最近的地方。

　　Did you know that you have made me a more religious person?

　　您知道吗，是您让我成为一个更虔诚的人。

　　I have said more prayers in that eight-hour flight than I have in my entire life.

　　在这八小时我的祷告比我一生的还要多。

　　Thank you once again.

　　再次感谢您

　　Insincerely yours,

　　您亲爱的

　　Passenger 14A

　　14A乘客

　　Vocabulary

　　manifesto 公开信

　　cheapskate 小气鬼

　　compromise 危害

　　hearing impairment 听力障碍

1 manifesto   

n.宣言，声明

参考例句：

• I was involved in the preparation of Labour's manifesto.我参与了工党宣言的起草工作。
• His manifesto promised measures to protect them.他在宣言里保证要为他们采取保护措施。

2 scathing   

adj.（言词、文章）严厉的，尖刻的；不留情的adv.严厉地，尖刻地v.伤害，损害（尤指使之枯萎）( scathe的现在分词)

参考例句：

• a scathing attack on the new management 针对新的管理层的猛烈抨击
• Her speech was a scathing indictment of the government's record on crime. 她的演讲强烈指责了政府在犯罪问题上的表现。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 hilarious   

adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed

参考例句：

• The party got quite hilarious after they brought more wine.在他们又拿来更多的酒之后，派对变得更加热闹起来。
• We stop laughing because the show was so hilarious.我们笑个不停，因为那个节目太搞笑了。

4 initially   

adv.最初，开始

参考例句：

• The ban was initially opposed by the US.这一禁令首先遭到美国的反对。
• Feathers initially developed from insect scales.羽毛最初由昆虫的翅瓣演化而来。

5 massage   

n.按摩，揉；vt.按摩，揉，美化，奉承，篡改数据

参考例句：

• He is really quite skilled in doing massage.他的按摩技术确实不错。
• Massage helps relieve the tension in one's muscles.按摩可使僵硬的肌肉松弛。

6 regain   

vt.重新获得，收复，恢复

参考例句：

• He is making a bid to regain his World No.1 ranking.他正为重登世界排名第一位而努力。
• The government is desperate to regain credibility with the public.政府急于重新获取公众的信任。

7 mobility   

n.可动性，变动性，情感不定

参考例句：

• The difference in regional house prices acts as an obstacle to mobility of labour.不同地区房价的差异阻碍了劳动力的流动。
• Mobility is very important in guerrilla warfare.机动性在游击战中至关重要。

8 cargo   

n.(一只船或一架飞机运载的)货物

参考例句：

• The ship has a cargo of about 200 ton.这条船大约有200吨的货物。
• A lot of people discharged the cargo from a ship.许多人从船上卸下货物。

9 obnoxious   

adj.极恼人的，讨人厌的，可憎的

参考例句：

• These fires produce really obnoxious fumes and smoke.这些火炉冒出来的烟气确实很难闻。
• He is the most obnoxious man I know.他是我认识的最可憎的人。

10 rustling   

n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的

参考例句：

• the sound of the trees rustling in the breeze 树木在微风中发出的沙沙声
• the soft rustling of leaves 树叶柔和的沙沙声

11 putrid   

adj.腐臭的；有毒的；已腐烂的；卑劣的

参考例句：

• To eat putrid food is liable to get sick.吃了腐败的食物容易生病。
• A putrid smell drove us from the room.一股腐臭的气味迫使我们离开这房间。