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雅思写作:增强语句表现力的五大王牌

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   雅思写作:增强语句表现力的五大王牌

  一、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。
  1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如:
  Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)
  Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)
  2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。例如:
  1)
  Weak: The team members are good players.
  Revision: The team members play well.
  2)
  Weak: One worker's plan is the elimination1 of tardiness2.
  Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.
  3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中,把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如:
  1)
  Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion3.
  Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.
  2)
  Weak: Here are the books you ordered.
  Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.
  二、多用语意具体的动词,保持句意简洁明了。例如:
  1、
  Poor: My supervisor4 went past my desk.
  Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.
  2、
  Poor: She is a careful shopper.
  Better: She compares prices and quality.
  三、尽量运用主动语态。例如:
  1、
  Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.
  Better: Charity has supported the organization.
  2、
  Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.
  Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
  四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如:
  1、
  Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.
  Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
  2、
  Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.
  Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.
  3、
  Redundant5: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
  Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
  4、
  Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.
  Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.
  五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如:
  1、
  Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.
  Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.
  2、
  Weak: I need her financial input6 before I can guesstimate our expenditures7 next fall.
  Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.

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1 elimination 3qexM     
n.排除,消除,消灭
参考例句:
  • Their elimination from the competition was a great surprise.他们在比赛中遭到淘汰是个很大的意外。
  • I was eliminated from the 400 metres in the semi-finals.我在400米半决赛中被淘汰。
2 tardiness 3qwwE     
n.缓慢;迟延;拖拉
参考例句:
  • Her teacher gave her extra homework because of her tardiness. 由于她的迟到,老师给她布置了额外的家庭作业。 来自辞典例句
  • Someone said that tardiness is the subtlest form of selflove and conceit. 有人说迟到是自私和自负的最微妙的表现形式。 来自辞典例句
3 promotion eRLxn     
n.提升,晋级;促销,宣传
参考例句:
  • The teacher conferred with the principal about Dick's promotion.教师与校长商谈了迪克的升级问题。
  • The clerk was given a promotion and an increase in salary.那个职员升了级,加了薪。
4 supervisor RrZwv     
n.监督人,管理人,检查员,督学,主管,导师
参考例句:
  • Between you and me I think that new supervisor is a twit.我们私下说,我认为新来的主管人是一个傻瓜。
  • He said I was too flighty to be a good supervisor.他说我太轻浮不能成为一名好的管理员。
5 redundant Tt2yO     
adj.多余的,过剩的;(食物)丰富的;被解雇的
参考例句:
  • There are too many redundant words in this book.这本书里多余的词太多。
  • Nearly all the redundant worker have been absorbed into other departments.几乎所有冗员,都已调往其他部门任职。
6 input X6lxm     
n.输入(物);投入;vt.把(数据等)输入计算机
参考例句:
  • I will forever be grateful for his considerable input.我将永远感激他的大量投入。
  • All this information had to be input onto the computer.所有这些信息都必须输入计算机。
7 expenditures 2af585403f5a51eeaa8f7b29110cc2ab     
n.花费( expenditure的名词复数 );使用;(尤指金钱的)支出额;(精力、时间、材料等的)耗费
参考例句:
  • We have overspent.We'll have to let up our expenditures next month. 我们已经超支了,下个月一定得节约开支。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The pension includes an allowance of fifty pounds for traffic expenditures. 年金中包括50镑交通费补贴。 来自《简明英汉词典》
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