外媒看中国 论如何与中国人相处

 　　Sitting halfway¹ around the world in the lobby of an upscale hotel sipping² tea, I felt my face turning beet³ red.

　　坐在一家高档酒店的大厅里喝着茶，我感觉到自己满脸通红。

　　Only moments before, I had been formally introduced to the person facing me by a longtime colleague who then left so we could become acquainted.

　　几分钟之前，同事刚刚把对面这位女士介绍给我认识，之后同事离开了，只留下还不太相熟的我俩。

　　However, from this newcomer's initial line of questioning, instead of being courted I felt like I was being grilled⁴.

　　随后，这位刚认识不久的女士开始问了一连串的问题，让我觉得我像是在接受审问。

　　My new Shanghainese contact -- looking very demure⁵ and innocent -- sat there cool and collected as she dove into a one-sided conversation, asking personal question after personal question:

　　眼前这位上海女士看起来非常端庄秀丽、单纯无辜，她酷酷地坐在那里，问着一个接一个的私人问题，像是在进行一场单方面的谈话。

　　"How old are you?"

　　“你多大了？”

　　"What kind of salary does your job pay?"

　　“你的工作能拿多少工资？”

　　"What does your husband do for a living?"

　　“你丈夫是做什么的？”

　　"Do you enjoy hanging out in bars?"

　　“你喜欢泡吧么？”

　　She even went so far as to bring up the subject of my weight, wanting to know, "Is it because of your work that you are a large woman?"

　　她甚至还问到了关于我体重的问题，“你这么胖是因为工作的原因吗？”

　　I mentally punched the woman in her thin stomach for that one. In real life, I rode out the inquisition with a fake smile pasted on my face while I delivered my answers as tersely⁶ as possible.

　　听到这个问题时，我在心里狠狠地揍了这位苗条的女士一拳。可表面上，我却面带微笑、泰然自若地、尽可能简洁地回答了这个问题。

　　It's not as if I hold any of this information near and dear to my heart (I am pretty much an open book), but I remember thinking the question/answer session seemed a bit premature⁷ given that we had just met.

　　这并不是说我不愿告诉别人这些有关我个人的信息（实际上我是个相当坦白的人），我只是觉得作为刚刚认识的两个人谈论这些私人问题有些为时过早。

　　But then the queries⁸ subsided⁹ and the tables turned.

　　谈话的后半部分，我从回答问题的人变成了提出问题的人。

　　Not wanting to be so brazen¹⁰, I started tentatively by asking if my inquisitive¹¹ conversation partner was married with children.

　　因为不想过于失礼，我只是尝试问了对方有关家庭、孩子方面的问题。

　　She lit up, telling me all about her family and her job and her lack of time for after-work fun. She even told me she was too skinny because she was working so hard she hardly had time to eat.

　　这位女士立刻兴奋起来，滔滔不绝地跟我讲起她的家庭、她的工作，以及她在工作之余如何没有时间玩乐。她甚至还跟我说她这么瘦是因为工作太忙而几乎没有时间吃饭。

　　We ended the hour feeling close. Then, as I went about my day, I thought about that conversation. I realized that the way my new friend held court was simply the Chinese way for finding common ground.

　　大概一个小时之后，我们结束了“亲密的交谈”。那天晚上我想到这段谈话时，突然意识到我的这位新朋友拉近陌生人距离的这种方式在中国其实是很常见的。

　　That said, following are some other ways in which things are done in China that might be surprising to the uninitiated American business traveler:

　　下面是其他一些让外国人感到奇怪的、但中国人却觉得很平常的事：

　　?When standing¹² up while conducting a one-on-one conversation, don't back away simply because your Chinese counterpart seems a little too close for your comfort.

　　站着进行面对面谈话时，不要因为对方（中国人）和你靠太近就往后退，这是不礼貌的。

　　?If you are lining¹³ up to wait for, say, a train or a bus, don't be surprised if you are shoved or pushed -- and don't get into a confrontation¹⁴ because of this.

　　在火车站或汽车站排队的时候，如果被人推到或挤到也不要大惊小怪，更不要因为这个和别人吵起来。

　　?If you want to point to something, use an open hand instead of using your index finger.

　　如果你要指东西，要伸开整个手去指，而不要用食指。

　　?Be on time (or a little early) for a meeting. In China, punctuality is a must.

　　开会或会面时要准时或是早到，在中国守时是必须的。

　　?Finally, keep your hands to yourself, even if you are just trying to make a simple gesture to accompany what you have to say. In China, use your words instead of acting¹⁵ them out or you might be considered overly dramatic.

　　最后，即使你只是想在说话时做个简单的手势，也请不要这样做。在中国，尽量用语言而不是手势来表达自己，否则会被人觉得过于夸张。

1 halfway   

adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途

参考例句：

• We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路，天就黑了。
• In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上，最忌讳的是有始无终。

2 sipping   

v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• She sat in the sun, idly sipping a cool drink. 她坐在阳光下懒洋洋地抿着冷饮。
• She sat there, sipping at her tea. 她坐在那儿抿着茶。

3 beet   

n.甜菜；甜菜根

参考例句：

• He farmed his pickers to work in the beet fields. 他出租他的摘棉工去甜菜地里干活。
• The sugar beet is an entirely different kind of plant.糖用甜菜是一种完全不同的作物。

4 grilled   

adj. 烤的, 炙过的, 有格子的 动词grill的过去式和过去分词形式

参考例句：

• He was grilled for two hours before the police let him go. 他被严厉盘查了两个小时后，警察才放他走。
• He was grilled until he confessed. 他被严加拷问，直到他承认为止。

5 demure   

adj.严肃的；端庄的

参考例句：

• She's very demure and sweet.她非常娴静可爱。
• The luscious Miss Wharton gave me a demure but knowing smile.性感迷人的沃顿小姐对我羞涩地会心一笑。

6 tersely   

adv. 简捷地, 简要地

参考例句：

• Nixon proceeded to respond, mercifully more tersely than Brezhnev. 尼克松开始作出回答了。幸运的是，他讲的比勃列日涅夫简练。
• Hafiz Issail tersely informed me that Israel force had broken the young cease-fire. 哈菲兹·伊斯梅尔的来电简洁扼要，他说以色列部队破坏了刚刚生效的停火。

7 premature   

adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的

参考例句：

• It is yet premature to predict the possible outcome of the dialogue.预言这次对话可能有什么结果为时尚早。
• The premature baby is doing well.那个早产的婴儿很健康。

8 queries   

n.问题( query的名词复数 )；疑问；询问；问号v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的第三人称单数 )；询问

参考例句：

• Our assistants will be happy to answer your queries. 我们的助理很乐意回答诸位的问题。
• Her queries were rhetorical,and best ignored. 她的质问只不过是说说而已，最好不予理睬。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 subsided   

v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上

参考例句：

• After the heavy rains part of the road subsided. 大雨过后，部分公路塌陷了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• By evening the storm had subsided and all was quiet again. 傍晚， 暴风雨已经过去，四周开始沉寂下来。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

10 brazen   

adj.厚脸皮的，无耻的，坚硬的

参考例句：

• The brazen woman laughed loudly at the judge who sentenced her.那无耻的女子冲着给她判刑的法官高声大笑。
• Some people prefer to brazen a thing out rather than admit defeat.有的人不愿承认失败，而是宁肯厚着脸皮干下去。

11 inquisitive   

adj.求知欲强的，好奇的，好寻根究底的

参考例句：

• Children are usually inquisitive.小孩通常很好问。
• A pat answer is not going to satisfy an inquisitive audience.陈腔烂调的答案不能满足好奇的听众。

12 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

13 lining   

n.衬里，衬料

参考例句：

• The lining of my coat is torn.我的外套衬里破了。
• Moss makes an attractive lining to wire baskets.用苔藓垫在铁丝篮里很漂亮。

14 confrontation   

n.对抗，对峙，冲突

参考例句：

• We can't risk another confrontation with the union.我们不能冒再次同工会对抗的危险。
• After years of confrontation,they finally have achieved a modus vivendi.在对抗很长时间后，他们最后达成安宁生存的非正式协议。

15 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。