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六人行FriendsMP3 9-6

时间:2006-08-20 16:00来源:互联网 提供网友:wrcwin   字体: [ ]
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906 - The One With The Male Nanny (200th episode)

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Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane
Transcribed1 by: Coffee Mug
Russian to Roman alphabet: Gabriela Horber

Dedicated2 to the great work of Eric Aasen, Guineapig and many, many more


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[Scene: Chandler's hotel room in Tulsa. He's fast asleep when the telephone rings.]

Chandler: (picking up the telephone, answering it with a frog in his throat) Hello? (he clears his throat, but he still has the same frog in his throat when he speaks again) Hello?

Monica: (in her apartment, screaming) I LOVE MY NEW JOB!

Chandler: Honey, you're screaming.

Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS3 I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's.

Chandler: (yawning) Oh, that's great.

Monica: Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean.

Chandler: (clearly not so interested) Awesome4.

Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)

OPENING CREDITS

[Scene: Central Perk5. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]

Mike: This is nice.

Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)

Mike: You need both hands for that?

Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative6. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)

Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling7 and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)

Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.

Mike: Is it?

Phoebe: (in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it?

Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks8... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...

Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?

Mike: Oh, sorry. (He digs in again and finally finds what he's been looking for. A key.)

Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.

Mike: It's to my apartment.

Phoebe: (really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike.

Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because...

Phoebe: Oh no, I want to.

Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously9, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.)

Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)

Mike: Is this cool, huh?

Phoebe: It really is.

Joey: (sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a "yeah, yeah, yeah" way.)

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]

Rachel: So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her.

Prospective10 nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)

Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?

Prospective nanny: Not really.

Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing11 up and make their way to the door)

Ross: Thank you.

Rachel: Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you.

Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random12 drug testing?

Ross: Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that.

Prospective nanny: That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice.

Rachel: Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples13 up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny.

Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.

Rachel: (indignant) What, the blonde with no bra?

Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.

Rachel: Okay... (Ross opens the door.)

Sandy: (a guy) Hi... I'm Sandy.

Ross: And she's a little mannish...

[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]

Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! David!

David: Hi! I-i-is this a bad time?

Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?

David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished14 uhm... nothing.

Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here.

David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it.

Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)

David: Damn it!

Phoebe: A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company.

David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!

Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.

David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)

Phoebe: No...

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]

Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?

Monica: Maybe he didn't give you a chance.

Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no...

Monica: Oh, well... That had been your window.

Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible15.

Monica: Really? The scientist guy?

Phoebe: Really? Chandler?

Monica: Continue...

Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.

Monica: Phoebe!

Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!

Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic16 that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?

Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony18, you can imagine how happy I am.

Monica: What are you gonna do?

Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...

Monica: You have to tell David!

Phoebe: Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey.

[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments. Chandler comes home.]

Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined19 again) Save it for inside! (he enters)

Monica: Heeeeeey!

Chandler: Hey!

Phoebe: Hey!

Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly20 I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.

Monica: (Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin pressurised?

Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.

Phoebe: Okay. (and she walks away)

Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?

Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?

Chandler: Yeah, he came up...

Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)

Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there?

Phoebe: No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny...

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.]

Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)

Rachel: Sandy, that's exactly what it is...

Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)

Rachel: Ross!

Sandy: It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do. But I am straight. I-I'm engaged actually.

Rachel: Oh!

Sandy: Her name is Deliah.

Rachel: Oh, that's pretty.

Ross: (skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny?

Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.

Ross: (on a yeah, right tone) Okay.

Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)

Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)

Rachel: Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed.

Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...

Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...

Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!

Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified21. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.

Ross: Because, it's weird22!

Rachel: Why?

Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...

Rachel: (she's got that "yeah, try to say it" look on her face) Yes?

Ross: King?

Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion23 on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)

Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.

Sandy: That's great! (He gets emotional again and waves his hand in front of his face in a feminine way, like trying to dry his tears) I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family...

Rachel: Oooh... ***I really can't hear what she says*** come here.

Ross: You gotta be at least bi...

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is reading a 'Busty Ladies' magazine when Chandler enters.]

Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.

Joey: Ooh. I-I don't know Chan. I'm not so good with remembering lines.

Chandler: (Can't believe what he hears) Well, thank God your livelihood24 doesn't depend on it.

Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?

Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.

Joey: Seriously? She actually said that?

Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?

Joey: Nooooo! Being funny is your thing!

Chandler: Yeah!

Joey: Without that, you just got "lame25 with women".

Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)

Monica: Hi! There you are.

Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)

[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe just let David in who brought a bottle of wine.]

David: Wow, you look even... more beautiful than you did yesterday.

Phoebe: Oof...

David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.)

Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait!

David: Yeah, I-I don't, I can't get away with stuff like that. I-I-It sounded sexy in my head, so I...

Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.

David: Oh... oh...

Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you.

David: No... well, yeah.

Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

David: Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy?

Phoebe: I am happy.

David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...

Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

David: Well... just so you know... hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival26 either... Can we at least hug goodbye?

Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...

David: No... no...

Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)

David: In Minsk...

Phoebe: Yeah?

David: ...it's uhm... i-it's two on each cheek and uhm... and one on the lips.

Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately27 and cannot seem to stop.)

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]

Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...

Ross: (very worried) Is everything allright?

Rachel: Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fianc閑 and it was just sooo beautiful.

Sandy: Well, her favourite flower is the camellia. From the poem...

Rachel: I can't... I can't hear it again.

Sandy: You know, I can't tell it again... (wipes his tears again)

Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?

Rachel: Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen with Ross and sighs)

Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.

Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.

Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)

Rachel: What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?

Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!

Rachel: Sandy made Madeleines.

Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly28 cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks29. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)

Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.

Ross: Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive.

Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)

[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She and David are still kissing each other in the living room.]

Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.

David: But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing.

Phoebe: No, no. No.

David: But... ergo...

Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...

David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling30, and the door opens... It's Mike)

Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening)

Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage31. Thank you.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen and Ross enters.]

Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?

Monica: Yeah! I think that's great!

Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?

Monica: Oh... How are they?

Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter32 than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)

Joey: Hey!

Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.

Joey: (looks surprised) Really...? Guys do that...? That's... weird...

Ross: Thank you!

Joey: That's like a woman wanting to be a...

Ross: ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence?

Monica: Yes... What is the end of that sentence?

Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?

Monica: Yeah, so?

Ross: Wow!

Joey: Really? Do you not know Chandler?

Monica: Is that why he's acting33 so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey...

Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything)

Ross: Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...?

Joey: ...No... (he just can't seem to grasp it)

Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...

Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)

Chandler: Hey!

Joey: Heeeyy! Hey!

Chandler: What are you guys talking about?

Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")

Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)

Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)

Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!

Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)

Monica: Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears)

Chandler: What is so funny about that? (they realise it wasn't a joke)

Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)

Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically34, but then gets serious again...)

Joey: Yeah....

Chandler: So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen)

Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey.

Chandler: Oh yeah? Is he funnier than me?

Monica: Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic17 a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks...

Chandler: I do limericks... uhm... There once was a man named Chandler, whose wife made him die inside.

Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious35! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.

Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)

Joey: Not knowing when to shut up...

Ross: Yep! That's my thing...

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. David is still there. Mike closes the door.]

Mike: So... how many guys have your key?

Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.

Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth.

David: Oh, uh... we just uh... happen to wear the same shade.

Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days.

Mike: Did you uhm...

Phoebe: No, no...

Mike: ...kiss him?

Phoebe: Oh, well, yeah...

David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike)

Mike: Don't point your finger at me.

David: Why? Wh-What are you going to do about it?

Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap)

Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.

David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.

Mike: Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out.

David: Oh, you're going to Minsk?

Mike: Well, I might.

David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.

Phoebe: Okay, well... guys?

David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.)

Mike: Hey, what are you kidding me?

David: Right-o, right-o... (to Mike) Take good care of her. (and he leaves)

Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.

Mike: It's never gonna happen again right?

Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)

David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)

[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]

Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.

Ross: Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice.

Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)

Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)

Sandy: Who's up for puppets?

Joey: Me! I'm up for puppets!

Sandy: Well, please welcome... The Snufflebumps... Who wants to be mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus?

Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?

Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral36 development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks37 to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves38. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)

Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)

Ross: (shakes his head) Oh my God!

Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen)

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]

Rachel: That was kind of rude!

Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.

Rachel: You know, he was just doing his job...

Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.

Rachel: Oh, come on Ross...

Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...

Rachel: (sighs) Oh... That's true.

Ross: Thank you!

Rachel: Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fire Sandy)

[Scene: Living room. Joey and Sandy are talking with the Snufflebumps.]

Sandy: (In a puppet voice) So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare...

Joey: (kind of emotional) I am learning so much from you.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]

Chandler: Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at www.hahanotsomuch.com.

Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.

Chandler: Really...? See... that's the thing: you gotta keep it smart, people!

Monica: Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you.

Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)

Joey: Allright. See you later!

Chandler: See ya! (he leaves the apartment)

Joey: (to Monica) Did that guy really make that joke?

Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]

Ross: Here goes...

Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)

Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.

Sandy: (surprised) Oh...

Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...

Rachel: (from behind the bedroom door) YOU! You feel!

Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...

Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best.

Rachel: (from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller!

Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.

Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.

Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.

Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts39 his head)

Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.

Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?

Ross: Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father?

Sandy: hmmm... (and shakes his head)

Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.

Rachel: (from the bedroom) Huh ha ha!

Ross: I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.

Sandy: That must have been hard.

Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs40... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?

Sandy: But you are a real boy!

Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?

Sandy: It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.

Ross: Here come some more...

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Sandy are sitting at the kitchen counter. Joey is holding mr. Wigglemunch, and Sandy holds the Grumpus.]

Sandy/Grumpus: And what's the one kind of boat that can never, ever sink?

Joey/Wigglemunch: What kind?

Sandy/Grumpus: A friend-ship...

Joey: Wow! You blow my mind...

Sandy: Oh, I gotta go.

Joey: Aaahh... How much do I owe you?

Sandy: Twenty bucks.

Joey: It's like the cheapest college ever.

END


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 transcribed 2f9e3c34adbe5528ff14427d7ed17557     
(用不同的录音手段)转录( transcribe的过去式和过去分词 ); 改编(乐曲)(以适应他种乐器或声部); 抄写; 用音标标出(声音)
参考例句:
  • He transcribed two paragraphs from the book into his notebook. 他把书中的两段抄在笔记本上。
  • Every telephone conversation will be recorded and transcribed. 所有电话交谈都将被录音并作全文转写。
2 dedicated duHzy2     
adj.一心一意的;献身的;热诚的
参考例句:
  • He dedicated his life to the cause of education.他献身于教育事业。
  • His whole energies are dedicated to improve the design.他的全部精力都放在改进这项设计上了。
3 ass qvyzK     
n.驴;傻瓜,蠢笨的人
参考例句:
  • He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
  • An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。
4 awesome CyCzdV     
adj.令人惊叹的,难得吓人的,很好的
参考例句:
  • The church in Ireland has always exercised an awesome power.爱尔兰的教堂一直掌握着令人敬畏的权力。
  • That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了.
5 perk zuSyi     
n.额外津贴;赏钱;小费;
参考例句:
  • His perks include a car provided by the firm.他的额外津贴包括公司提供的一辆汽车。
  • And the money is,of course,a perk.当然钱是额外津贴。
6 appreciative 9vDzr     
adj.有鉴赏力的,有眼力的;感激的
参考例句:
  • She was deeply appreciative of your help.她对你的帮助深表感激。
  • We are very appreciative of their support in this respect.我们十分感谢他们在这方面的支持。
7 babbling babbling     
n.胡说,婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 );作潺潺声(如流水);含糊不清地说话;泄漏秘密
参考例句:
  • I could hear the sound of a babbling brook. 我听得见小溪潺潺的流水声。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Infamy was babbling around her in the public market-place. 在公共市场上,她周围泛滥着对她丑行的种种议论。 来自英汉文学 - 红字
8 bucks a391832ce78ebbcfc3ed483cc6d17634     
n.雄鹿( buck的名词复数 );钱;(英国十九世纪初的)花花公子;(用于某些表达方式)责任v.(马等)猛然弓背跃起( buck的第三人称单数 );抵制;猛然震荡;马等尥起后蹄跳跃
参考例句:
  • They cost ten bucks. 这些值十元钱。
  • They are hunting for bucks. 他们正在猎雄兔。 来自《简明英汉词典》
9 nervously tn6zFp     
adv.神情激动地,不安地
参考例句:
  • He bit his lip nervously,trying not to cry.他紧张地咬着唇,努力忍着不哭出来。
  • He paced nervously up and down on the platform.他在站台上情绪不安地走来走去。
10 prospective oR7xB     
adj.预期的,未来的,前瞻性的
参考例句:
  • The story should act as a warning to other prospective buyers.这篇报道应该对其他潜在的购买者起到警示作用。
  • They have all these great activities for prospective freshmen.这会举办各种各样的活动来招待未来的新人。
11 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
12 random HT9xd     
adj.随机的;任意的;n.偶然的(或随便的)行动
参考例句:
  • The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
  • On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查,发现肉变质了。
13 crumples 2c40221128b5b566f53ad308959d47dd     
压皱,弄皱( crumple的第三人称单数 ); 变皱
参考例句:
  • This kind of paper crumples easily. 这种纸容易起皱。
  • This kind of cloth crumples easily. 这种布易起绉。
14 accomplished UzwztZ     
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的
参考例句:
  • Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
  • Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。
15 irresistible n4CxX     
adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的
参考例句:
  • The wheel of history rolls forward with an irresistible force.历史车轮滚滚向前,势不可挡。
  • She saw an irresistible skirt in the store window.她看见商店的橱窗里有一条叫人着迷的裙子。
16 ironic 1atzm     
adj.讽刺的,有讽刺意味的,出乎意料的
参考例句:
  • That is a summary and ironic end.那是一个具有概括性和讽刺意味的结局。
  • People used to call me Mr Popularity at high school,but they were being ironic.人们中学时常把我称作“万人迷先生”,但他们是在挖苦我。
17 sarcastic jCIzJ     
adj.讥讽的,讽刺的,嘲弄的
参考例句:
  • I squashed him with a sarcastic remark.我说了一句讽刺的话把他给镇住了。
  • She poked fun at people's shortcomings with sarcastic remarks.她冷嘲热讽地拿别人的缺点开玩笑。
18 irony P4WyZ     
n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄
参考例句:
  • She said to him with slight irony.她略带嘲讽地对他说。
  • In her voice we could sense a certain tinge of irony.从她的声音里我们可以感到某种讥讽的意味。
19 determined duszmP     
adj.坚定的;有决心的
参考例句:
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
20 frankly fsXzcf     
adv.坦白地,直率地;坦率地说
参考例句:
  • To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说,我一点也不赞成这个主意。
  • Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说,我不反对改革。
21 qualified DCPyj     
adj.合格的,有资格的,胜任的,有限制的
参考例句:
  • He is qualified as a complete man of letters.他有资格当真正的文学家。
  • We must note that we still lack qualified specialists.我们必须看到我们还缺乏有资质的专家。
22 weird bghw8     
adj.古怪的,离奇的;怪诞的,神秘而可怕的
参考例句:
  • From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来,他好像有点怪。
  • His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。
23 lotion w3zyV     
n.洗剂
参考例句:
  • The lotion should be applied sparingly to the skin.这种洗液应均匀地涂在皮肤上。
  • She lubricates her hands with a lotion.她用一种洗剂来滑润她的手。
24 livelihood sppzWF     
n.生计,谋生之道
参考例句:
  • Appropriate arrangements will be made for their work and livelihood.他们的工作和生活会得到妥善安排。
  • My father gained a bare livelihood of family by his own hands.父亲靠自己的双手勉强维持家计。
25 lame r9gzj     
adj.跛的,(辩解、论据等)无说服力的
参考例句:
  • The lame man needs a stick when he walks.那跛脚男子走路时需借助拐棍。
  • I don't believe his story.It'sounds a bit lame.我不信他讲的那一套。他的话听起来有些靠不住。
26 carnival 4rezq     
n.嘉年华会,狂欢,狂欢节,巡回表演
参考例句:
  • I got some good shots of the carnival.我有几个狂欢节的精彩镜头。
  • Our street puts on a carnival every year.我们街的居民每年举行一次嘉年华会。
27 passionately YmDzQ4     
ad.热烈地,激烈地
参考例句:
  • She could hate as passionately as she could love. 她能恨得咬牙切齿,也能爱得一往情深。
  • He was passionately addicted to pop music. 他酷爱流行音乐。
28 manly fBexr     
adj.有男子气概的;adv.男子般地,果断地
参考例句:
  • The boy walked with a confident manly stride.这男孩以自信的男人步伐行走。
  • He set himself manly tasks and expected others to follow his example.他给自己定下了男子汉的任务,并希望别人效之。
29 chunks a0e6aa3f5109dc15b489f628b2f01028     
厚厚的一块( chunk的名词复数 ); (某物)相当大的数量或部分
参考例句:
  • a tin of pineapple chunks 一罐菠萝块
  • Those chunks of meat are rather large—could you chop them up a bIt'smaller? 这些肉块相当大,还能再切小一点吗?
30 rattling 7b0e25ab43c3cc912945aafbb80e7dfd     
adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词
参考例句:
  • This book is a rattling good read. 这是一本非常好的读物。
  • At that same instant,a deafening explosion set the windows rattling. 正在这时,一声震耳欲聋的爆炸突然袭来,把窗玻璃震得当当地响。
31 massage 6ouz43     
n.按摩,揉;vt.按摩,揉,美化,奉承,篡改数据
参考例句:
  • He is really quite skilled in doing massage.他的按摩技术确实不错。
  • Massage helps relieve the tension in one's muscles.按摩可使僵硬的肌肉松弛。
32 lighter 5pPzPR     
n.打火机,点火器;驳船;v.用驳船运送;light的比较级
参考例句:
  • The portrait was touched up so as to make it lighter.这张画经过润色,色调明朗了一些。
  • The lighter works off the car battery.引燃器利用汽车蓄电池打火。
33 acting czRzoc     
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的
参考例句:
  • Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她,她只是假装的。
  • During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代,她的表演生涯黯然失色。
34 hysterically 5q7zmQ     
ad. 歇斯底里地
参考例句:
  • The children giggled hysterically. 孩子们歇斯底里地傻笑。
  • She sobbed hysterically, and her thin body was shaken. 她歇斯底里地抽泣着,她瘦弱的身体哭得直颤抖。
35 hilarious xdhz3     
adj.充满笑声的,欢闹的;[反]depressed
参考例句:
  • The party got quite hilarious after they brought more wine.在他们又拿来更多的酒之后,派对变得更加热闹起来。
  • We stop laughing because the show was so hilarious.我们笑个不停,因为那个节目太搞笑了。
36 cerebral oUdyb     
adj.脑的,大脑的;有智力的,理智型的
参考例句:
  • Your left cerebral hemisphere controls the right-hand side of your body.你的左半脑控制身体的右半身。
  • He is a precise,methodical,cerebral man who carefully chooses his words.他是一个一丝不苟、有条理和理智的人,措辞谨慎。
37 winks 1dd82fc4464d9ba6c78757a872e12679     
v.使眼色( wink的第三人称单数 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮
参考例句:
  • I'll feel much better when I've had forty winks. 我打个盹就会感到好得多。
  • The planes were little silver winks way out to the west. 飞机在西边老远的地方,看上去只是些很小的银色光点。 来自辞典例句
38 disapproves 2409ec34a905c5a568c1e2e81c7efcdc     
v.不赞成( disapprove的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • She disapproves of unmarried couples living together. 她反对未婚男女同居。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Her mother disapproves of her wearing transparent underwear. 她母亲不赞成她穿透明的内衣。 来自辞典例句
39 tilts 0949a40cec67d3492b7f45f6f0f9f858     
(意欲赢得某物或战胜某人的)企图,尝试( tilt的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • As the kitten touches it, it tilts at the floor. 它随着击碰倾侧,头不动,眼不动,还呆呆地注视着地上。 来自汉英文学 - 散文英译
  • The two writers had a number of tilts in print. 这两位作家写过一些文章互相攻击。
40 dinosaurs 87f9c39b9e3f358174d58a584c2727b4     
n.恐龙( dinosaur的名词复数 );守旧落伍的人,过时落后的东西
参考例句:
  • The brontosaurus was one of the largest of all dinosaurs. 雷龙是所有恐龙中最大的一种。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years. 恐龙绝种已有几百万年了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
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