英国卫报：中国,我想回来!(9)

 

While travelling alone, I wasn't sure what my purpose was. I spent a lot of time in Airbnbs doing my freelance work.

独自旅行时我不确定自己的目的是什么。我花了很多时间在Airbnbs做自由职业者。

I had a research gig combing through recent media portrayals¹ of China in the US to create a summary for an academic institution.

我曾做过一项研究工作，梳理美国媒体最近对中国的描述，为一家学术机构撰写摘要。

I trawled through white papers describing Chinese student spies and ominous² articles predicting a second cold war – abstract³, alarming concepts⁴ that seemed far removed from the gentle patter of my family WeChat.

我翻看了描述中国学生间谍的白皮书和预测第二次冷战的不祥文章——这些抽象的、令人震惊的概念似乎和我家族微信群里的温和模式相距甚远，

The articles I read seemed to have no connection to the ordinary lives going on around me.

我读的文章似乎和我周围的日常生活没有什么联系。

In the evenings I stayed in my room and read manga. I had hardly anyone to see. Most of the time I was on my own.

晚上我呆在房间里看漫画，我找不到什么人陪我，大部分时间里我都是一个人。

A year after my interviews, I did see my yeye one more time. Over Christmas 2019, I found myself in China again.

距离那次采访一年后，我又一次看到了爷爷。2019年的圣诞节，我又来到了中国。

This time, my parents, brother, and I were paying a quick family visit before returning to the US.

这一次，我的父母、哥哥和我在回美国之前短暂地走了一次亲戚。

yeye's dementia was worse. I asked after his novels, but still didn't get my hands on any.

爷爷的痴呆更严重了。我询问了他的小说，但还是一本都没有拿到。

My nainai ate at a new hotpot restaurant with us in Hefei. In Shanghai, I dyed⁵ my hair blue.

奶奶和我们在合肥的一家新开的火锅店里吃饭。我在上海把头发染成了蓝色。

Three months after we returned home, the US locked down for the pandemic.

我们在回到家三个月后，美国因疫情进行了封锁。

"还是想哭," my father said in the WeChat group after my grandfather's memorial was over, which translates to"Still want to cry."

“还是想哭，”爷爷的追悼会结束后父亲在微信群里说。

Also: "这是人生." Which means "This is human life."

还有：“这就是人生。”

In a eulogy⁶ written after my grandfather's death, my aunt wrote: "Father, you always wished for one of us to become a great writer. Your granddaughter is at this moment working towards that goal."

在我爷爷去世后写的悼词中，姑姑写道：“父亲，你一直希望我们中有一个能成为伟大的作家。你的孙女此刻正朝着这个目标努力。”

When I read it, my first reaction was resentment⁷, that they would use my dreams of being a writer to appease⁸ my grandfather's spirit.

当我读到这里的时候我的第一反应是怨恨，他们在用我当作家的梦想来安抚爷爷的灵魂。

That after his death, the pressure on me would only increase. The pressure to honour his memory, and my grandmother's.

他死后我的压力只会增加，缅怀爷爷和奶奶的记忆的压力。

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1 portrayals   

n.画像( portrayal的名词复数 )；描述；描写；描摹

参考例句：

• And painters alluded to her eroticism in their bare breasted portrayals of the dying queen. 画家们把她描绘为裸胸垂死的贪欲的女王。 来自互联网

2 ominous   

adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的

参考例句：

• Those black clouds look ominous for our picnic.那些乌云对我们的野餐来说是个不祥之兆。
• There was an ominous silence at the other end of the phone.电话那头出现了不祥的沉默。

3 abstract   

adj.抽象的；n.摘要，梗概；vt.提取；摘录要点

参考例句：

• He is an abstract painter.他是一个抽象派画家。
• He made an abstract of a long article.他对一篇长文章做了摘要。

4 concepts   

n.概念( concept的名词复数 )；观念；想法；总的印象

参考例句：

• He speaks in concepts rather than specifics. 他讲话时尽用抽象概念，而不谈具体。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The word "beauty" comprehends various concepts. “美”这个词包括许多概念。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

5 dyed   

给…上色，着色( dye的过去式和过去分词 )； 能染上颜色

参考例句：

• She dyed her hair blonde. 她把头发染成了金黄色。
• He'd dyed his hair, which was almost unheard-of in the 1960s. 他染了头发，这在20世纪60年代是罕见的事。

6 eulogy   

n.颂词；颂扬

参考例句：

• He needs no eulogy from me or from any other man. 他不需要我或者任何一个人来称颂。
• Mr.Garth gave a long eulogy about their achievements in the research.加思先生对他们的研究成果大大地颂扬了一番。

7 resentment   

n.怨愤，忿恨

参考例句：

• All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。

8 appease   

v.安抚，缓和，平息，满足

参考例句：

• He tried to appease the crying child by giving him candy.他试图给那个啼哭的孩子糖果使他不哭。
• The government tried to appease discontented workers.政府试图安抚不满的工人们。