A student is talking to his teacher. Student: Would you punish me for something I didn`t do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework....
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school. If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home....
Q: What are two things people never eat before breakfast? A: Lunch and supper. Q: What do tigers have that no other animals have? A: Baby tigers. Q: Why is the number six afraid? A: Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine) Q: How many legs does an a...
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, Does your dog bite? The shopkeeper says, No, my dog does not bite. The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. Ouch, he says, I thought you said your dog does not bit...
English Joke - Will I Be Able to Play the Piano? A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation. B: Yes, of course. A: Great. I never could before....
English Joke - A Good Dancer A girl and a boy are talking. The girl says, You would be a good dancer except for two things. The boy asks, What are those two things? The girl answers, Your feet....
There were three restauraunts on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said The Best Restaurant in the City. The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said The Best Restaurant in the World. On the...
A: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter? B: I think you are pretty ugly. Insulting someone is often considered funny, especially when that person is fishing for a complement. NOTE: pretty ugly = very ugly...
A man goes to the doctor and says, Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts. The doctor asks, What do you mean? The man says, When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts. The doct...
Three mice were being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, You see, it pa...
